


Disorganized Religion

by fullmoonpills



Category: Fall Out Boy, I Don't Know How But They Found Me (Band), Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - Middle School, Alternate Universe - No Band, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, group chat au, it’s just them being stupid, lots of references to other stuff, oh and the relationships aren’t really that serious if that even makes sense, other characters to be added - Freeform, this is my first fic please don’t kill me for this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2019-07-28 01:13:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16231130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fullmoonpills/pseuds/fullmoonpills
Summary: Pete Wentz is bored in his history class, so he adds him and and his friends to a group chat. While they do expect shit to happen, they aren’t prepared of what is to really come...





	1. humble beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! this is my first fic, so sorry if it’s bad :,)

_Pete Wentz_ added  _Patrick Stump_ ,  _Joe Trohman_ ,  _Andy Hurley_ , and  _Brendon_ _Urie_ to a group chat

 

 **Andy Hurley** : why are you like this

 

 **Joe Trohman** : the real question is

why didn’t he do it sooner

 

 **Pete Wentz** : i like ur way of thinking

 

 **Brendon Urie** : beauty at its finest

 

 _Pete Wentz_ renamed the group chat  _beauty at its finest_

 

 **Andy Hurley** : why did you even make this

 

 **Pete Wentz** : history is so fuckin boooring

the only thing that makes this class fun is patrick :))

 

 **Joe Trohman** : do you kiss your mother with that mouth

 

 _Pete Wentz_ changed  _Joe Trohman_ ’s nickname to  _dolphin screech_

 

 **Andy Hurley** : what period do you all have rn

 

 **Brendon Urie** : lang w/ joe

 

 **Pete Wentz** : i got  ~~hell~~ history

patrick’s bein a lil goody two shoes n not usin his phone

 

 **Andy Hurley** : how the fuck did you even d o t h a t

 

 **dolphin screech** : u H

MAYDAY MAYDAY

 

 **Andy Hurley** : ???

 

 **Brendon Urie** : jOE YOU FUCKING DUMBASS O M G

 

 **Pete Wentz** : wuts goin on

 

 **Brendon Urie** : JOE FORGOT TO TURN DOWN HIS FUCKING VOLUME AND PROCEEDED TO PLAY DEEPTHROAT

 

 **dolphin screech** : I THOYGHT ITD BE FUNNY

THE TESRCHER US FUCKINF COJNG OH SHUT

 

 **Pete Wentz** : tag urself im TESRCHER

 

 **Andy Hurley** : stfu pete

 

 **Pete Wentz** : ur mean

y u bully me

 

 **Patrick Stump** : hey guys?

 

 **Pete Wentz** : hey pattycakes wats up

 

 _Patrick Stump_ has left the chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what happened to patrick? stay tuned to find out!  
> more characters to be added :)  
> kudos & comments are appreciated! <3


	2. a new foe has appeared

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dolphin screech — Joe Trohman  
> :)

**Andy Hurley** : wtf did you do now pete

is patrick okay??

 

 **Brendon Urie** : why was pete just called to the office

fucking joe got his phone taken away in pawlovich's class

aND WHY IS THERE A KID OUTSIDE LOOKING LIKE WOLVES ATTACKED HIM AND THEN GOT BEAT TF UP IN A WWE FIGHT

 

 _Andy Hurley_ added  _Patrick Stump_ to  _beauty at its finest_

 

 **Andy Hurley** : hey patrick you okay?

 

 **Patrick Stump** : yeah, i’m fine, why?

 

 **Brendon Urie** : you just left the group chat out of nowhere

 

 **Patrick Stump** : oh it was mike

 

 **Andy Hurley** : mike??

 

 **Patrick Stump** : he just came this year, his name is mike naran

we’re partners for integrated and we became friends pretty quickly

in history, he took my phone when he saw the notifs from the group chat and acted like something happened to me

he went into the restroom soon after, and then pete followed

 

 **Brendon Urie** : wait so why is pete being called into the office

and that still doesn’t explain the beaten up kid

its sad he had a really nice white and blue windbreaker from what i saw

 

 **Patrick Stump** : WAIT WHAT

WHAT WAS HIS HAIR COLOR

 

 **Brendon Urie** : um i think it was dirty blonde or something

why

 

 **Patrick Stump** : OH NO I THINK PETE MIGHT’VE BEATEN UP MIKE

LET ME ADD HIM HOLD ON

 

 _Patrick Stump_  added _Mike Naran_  to  _beauty at its finest_

 

 **Mike Naran** : PATRICK WHY DID SOME DUDE NAMED PETE ATTACK ME

WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE

 

 **Patrick Stump** : o h n o

 

 **Andy** **Hurley** : ^^

 

 **Brendon Urie** : ^^^

 

 **Patrick Stump** : uhhh we’ll talk about it at lunch

 

* * *

 

 **Patrick Stump** : PETE WHAT WHY HOW

 

 **Pete Wentz** : IM SORRY TRICK I THOUGHT HE WAS ANNOYING U OR SOME SHIT

 

 _Andy Hurley_ changed  _Pete Wentz_ ’s nickname to _calm yo dick_

 

 **Brendon Urie** : aND THE FIRST THING YOU DO IS GO JOHN CENA ON HIS ASS??

 

 **Mike Naran** : overprotective boyfriend much??

 

 **calm yo dick** : wut

 

 **Mike Naran** : wut

 

 **Patrick Stump** : we're not dating??

and how did you heal up so quickly??

 

 **Mike Naran:** you heard nothing

and i have my ways

 

 **calm yo dick** : i stg mike i will go full mike tyson on u

 

 **Andy Hurley** : now, now, no fighting children

and i'm now 1000% sure ms williams has healing abilities like how the fuck

satan works hard but she works harder

 

 _calm yo dick_ changed  _Andy Hurley_ 's nickname to  _mom_

 

 **mom** : is this what i get for not wanting you actual babies to fight

 

 **Brendon Urie** : but mooooooooooooom

pete started itttttt

 

 **calm yo dick** : fuck u brendon ill fight u 2

 

 **Patrick Stump** : can you not petey?

 

 **Brendon Urie** : aw petey thats cute

 

 **calm yo dick** : stfu u bobblehead

 

 _mom_ changed  _Brendon Urie_ 's nickname to  _bobblehead_

 

 **bobblehead** : but mommy thats mean

 

 **mom** : i didn't do it joe did

he stole my phone and yelled "YEET"

 

 **Mike Naran** : please never text that to us again mom you're not that cool

 

 **mom** : i disown you

 

 **Mike Naran** : :(

 

* * *

 

 **bobblehead** : GO KASHOOT YOURSELF PETE

 

 **calm yo dick** : no u

 

 **Mike Naran** : PFFFFFT I SPIT OUT MY WATER

OKAY WHAT HAPPENED

 

 **Patrick Stump** : we were playing kahoot in way's science class

pete named himself forehead urie

 

 **Mike Naran** : when will i get a cute nickname

and i almost sprayed that water onto this tall ass kid that could probably step on me

 

 **calm yo dick** : now bitch

 

 _calm yo dick_ changed  _Mike Naran_ 's nickname to  _moike wazowki_

 

 **moike wazowki** : jokes on you hes my favorite character

 

 **Patrick Stump** : wait aren't you in iero with andy?

 

 **moike wazowki** : pe is boring so i told him that i got injured

 

 **Patrick Stump** : but i thought we were staying inside??

and doing whatever we want????

 

 **moike wazowki** : dont question it stumpy boy

 

 _mom_ changed  _Patrick Stump_ 's nickname to  _stumpy boy_

 

 **stumpy boy** : andy why

 

 **moike wazowki** : wait what but andys not using his phone?

hes playing intense uno with like 5 other people

its some random ass dude wTF

HEY YO WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU

I KNOW YOURE READING THIS

they ran outside while iero was on his phone

IM GETTING THEM

 

 **stumpy boy** : mike why do this to yourself

 

 **moike wazowki** : got them

HOLY FUCKING SHIT W T F

 

 **stumpy boy** : who are they??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who did mike tackle in pe? find out next chapter ;)  
> sorry for the late update i have this essay due soon :,,(  
> and i apologize for like no joe trohman material in this  
> kudos & comments are appreciated! <3


	3. the ghoul boys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> calm yo dick — Pete Wentz  
> stumpy boy — Patrick Stump  
> mom — Andy Hurley  
> dolphin screech — Joe Trohman  
> bobblehead — Brendon Urie  
> moike wazowki — Mike Naran  
> :V

_moike wazowki_  added _Dallon Weekes_ to _beauty at its finest_

 

 **moike** **wazowki** : IM SORRY PLS DONT STEP ON ME

I WONT SPIT WATER AT YOU OR TRY TO TACKLE YOU EVER AGAIN

JUST PLEASE DONT HURT ME I ALREADY GOT BULLIED TODAY

 

 **bobblehead** : hOLY SHIT ITS DALLON

I WORSHIP YOU AND YOUR VOICE IS A GIFT FROM GOD

 

 **calm yo dick** : fucc u mike

 

 **Dallon Weekes** : I wasn’t going to do anything?

And thank you, Brendon, same back to you.

 

 **calm yo dick** : ew proper sentences

 

 _calm yo dick_ changed  _Dallon Weekes_ ’s nickname to  _dadlon_

 

 **bobblehead** : yknow what that was a decent pun

gg but fuck you too

 

 **calm yo dick** : <3

 

 **stumpy boy** : wait ,,, so why were you using andy’s phone?

 

 **dadlon** : He told me to see what you guys were doing.

He also said you guys needed someone to watch over you, so here I am.

 

 **moike wazowki** : wait dallon you can sing?

 

 **bobblehead** : YES x100000000000

WANNA HEAR I RECORDED HIM DURING CHOIR LAST WEEK

 

 **dadlon** : My privacy has been breached.

And there’s no need to share it.

 

 **stumpy boy** : brendon listens to no one, he’ll send it anyway

 

 **bobblehead** : [door](https://youtu.be/ZNXDV3_Ip80)

skip to 0:30 to hear angelic vocals

 

 **moike wazowki** : I HAVE BEEN BLESSED

I HAVE TRIED TO HURT AN ACTUAL GOD

HOW MUST I REPAY MY SINS

 

 **dadlon** : Brendon...

Now I must retaliate back.

 

 **bobblehead** : you have nothing against me

 

 **dadlon** : [real talk](https://youtu.be/oPoPSkXCRMQ)

 

 **calm yo dick** : pFFFFT WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT LMAOOOO

 

 **moike wazowki** : DAMN BRENDON G E T I T

 

 **bobblehead** : I HAVE TESTED HIM AND HE ATTACKED BACK

OH GOD DELETE IT I FUCKING FORGOT ABOUT THAT GODDAMMIT

 

 _calm yo dick_ changed  _bobblehead_ ’s nickname to  _drisella kokane_

 

 **calm yo dick** : WUTS UP BITCHES DRISELLA KOKANE HERE

TELLIN YA 2 KEEP IT REAL BE TRUE 2 URSELF

UNLESS UR A MARKASS TRICKASS RATCHET ASS H O E

 

 **moike wazowki** : new senior quote

 

 **drisella kokane** : e n d m e n o w

 

 **stumpy boy** : guys the bell rang

 

 **drisella kokane** : oh thank fuck its next period

fuck you pete and mike

fuck you too dallon but not as much

 

 **calm yo dick** : love you too

 

 **moike wazowki** : <3333

 

 **dadlon** : Andy wasn’t lying, you all really are babies.

 

* * *

 

 **drisella kokane** : hey patrick

 

 **stumpy boy** : what is it?

make it quick

 

 **drisella kokane** : okay

i think i mightve left my phone in the band room

 

 **stumpy boy** : wait, what?

then how are you texting me??

 

 **drisella kokane** : uhhh this is mike

 

 **stumpy boy** : where'd you put it?

 

 **drisella kokane** : u m

its on top of the cabinet behind the big ass tuba case

 

 **stumpy boy** : how did that even happen??

you know what, i don't even want to know

 

 **drisella kokane** : thaaaanks patttt

just get into band quickly and pass me the phone before class starts

ill be at the sinks next to the room

 

 **stumpy boy** : okay

and don't call me pat!!

 

* * *

 

 **moike wazowki** : bless your kind soul patrick

 

 **stumpy boy** : no problem

 

 **drisella kokane** : mike when did you fucking take my phone

 

 **moike wazowki** : during toros class why

 

 **drisella kokane** : wait what how the fuck did i not see you take it

 

 **moike wazowki** : i have my ways

 

 **calm yo dick** : jdsadfaoijfadmsfadjfadkcmnka

fjasdfjaklsmckdsjicjsjcksdjkjifjskldjc

 

 **stumpy boy** : you okay pete?

 

* * *

 

 

 **Pete Wentz** : hahahhaahahhashHAHAHAHHAHhsa

 

 **Patrick Stump** : pete, i'm getting worried

are you okay??

 

 **Pete Wentz** :  _patrickthewallsareclosingin_

_whatdoidothepillsarekickinginhahAHAHAHHAHAHh_

 

 **Patrick Stump** : that's it, i'm leaving band

i'm coming to get you, i don't care if smith gets mad

just hold on, pete, i'll be there in 5 minutes

 

* * *

 

Patrick found Pete in the last stall in the back of the restroom on the opposite side of the school. But he didn't care, Pete mattered more to him than his education, and that said a lot. Patrick softly knocked on the door, signaling that he was going to open the door unless Pete stopped him.

Patrick enveloped him into a tight hug. "Hey, Pete, I'm here now, okay?" Patrick whispered into Pete's ear.

"Everything hurts," Pete weeped into Patrick's chest, "I just want it all to end."

Patrick lifted up Pete's chin to make him look up at him and put his hands on Pete's shoulders to steady him. "Pete, don't say that..you can do this, for all of us, for me."

Pete sniffed and gave him a weak smile. "Thanks, Patrick. You're the only one who  _really_ gets me."

"That's what best friends are for, right?" They both giggled at that.

"We don't have to go back to class if you want. We could stay here, y'know," remarked Patrick.

"No, you should go back to band. They probably need you over there more than I do." Patrick is honestly too nice for his own good.

"Bullshit, and you know it. I'd rather be here, with you. Besides, I got Andy to back me up." Pete pulled him into a tight hug, with Patrick hugging him back. They both laughed, lightening up the mood. They sat in the stall, talking for what seemed like hours until the bell rung, officially marking the end of the school day.

 

* * *

 

 **drisella kokane** : fUCKING FINALLY GODDAMN

ITS FRIDAY BB

 

 **moike wazowki** : yessssss now i can finally rest

 

 **calm yo dick** : and miss the new bfu season??

i think NOT

 

 **moike wazowki** : WAIT WHAT THATS TODAY????

JESUS FUCK I A M A FAKE FAN

 

 **mom** : bfu?

 

 **calm yo dick** : of course mom doesnt know buzzfeed unsolved

its only the greatest show on buzzfeed

ryan and shane r the best aND S5 EP1 CAME OUT 2DAY

 

 **stumpy boy** : let me watch it with you *^*

 

 **calm yo dick** : fine but im going to urs 2day

 

 **drisella kokane** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **calm yo dick** : i will fuck u up like i did 2 mike

 

 **moike wazowki** : meanie >:(

 

 **dadlon** : Are none of you going to talk about where Andy and Joe have been?

 

 **stumpy boy** : didn't they go to pawlovich to get joe's phone back?

 

 **dadlon** : It's been about 10 minutes, that's plenty of time to "get his phone back".

 

 **drisella kokane** : IS DAD IMPLYING THAT

#TROHLEY IS REAL ?!?!?1??!1

 

 **moike wazowki** : ooooh ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **dolphin screech** : hey guys what did i miss

 

 **dadlon** : Quite a lot, I must say.

 

 **dolphin screech** : HOLY SHIT WTF

DALLON WEEKES IS THAT Y O U

 

 **dadlon** : 'Tis I, Prince Dallon, of the Weekes bloodline.

 

 **moike wazowki** : *********god

 

 **drisella kokane** : ^^

btw wheres andy joe? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **dolphin screech** : were walking home rn

his phone died earlier

you want to talk to him?

 

 **dadlon** : No, but can you tell him that he was right about you all being absolute toddlers?

 

 **dolphin screech** : i dont like this dallon

 

 **dadlon** : I will step on you.

 

 **dolphin screech** : i feel attacked je s u s

ill just go watch bfu supernatural with andy then

:,(

 

 **calm yo dick** : MAYDAY MAYDAY HELP ME

I SWEAR 2 FUCKING GOD IM SUCH A FUCKUP

 

 **drisella kokane** : what happened now

 

 **calm yo dick** : ITS ABOUT PATRICK

IM FUCKING SERIOUS ABOUT THIS

FUCKING HELP ME GODDAMMIT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry some peterick fluff out of nowhere oof  
> i probably did dallon bad with his intro into this but oH wElL  
> kudos & comments are appreciated! <3


	4. joe has a problem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> calm yo dick — Pete Wentz  
> stumpy boy — Patrick Stump  
> mom — Andy Hurley  
> dolphin screech — Joe Trohman  
> drisella kokane — Brendon Urie  
> moike wazowki — Mike Naran  
> dadlon — Dallon Weekes  
> :^)  
> PLEASE READ THE END NOTES AFTER.

_calm yo dick_ sent a picture

(It’s a picture of Pete cradling Patrick’s hand. There's two small cuts on it, but it's bleeding pretty bad.)

 

 **drisella kokane** : YALL ARE SO FUCKING CUTE

 

 **dolphin screech** : just get married already goddamn

 

 **moike wazowki** : i KNEW yall were fuckin

 

 **dadlon** : It’s concerning how you’re all ignoring the fact that Patrick’s hand is bleeding.

 

 **calm yo dick** : NONE OF YOU ARE HELPING

AND WE'RE NOT A THING

 

 **moike** **wazowki** : not yet anyway

 

 **mom** : pete wtf??

hold on i’ll be there soon

 

 **moike wazowki** : mom be careful

theyre probably fucking rn

 

 **calm yo dick** : I’M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU MIKE

 

* * *

 

 **stumpy boy** : thank you so much andy

how can i pay you back?

 

 **mom** : no problem

and it’s fine there’s no need

 

 **dadlon** : Okay, so now that Patrick’s not dying, could any of you explain what just happened?

 

 **stumpy boy** : oh yeah

uh so basically pete was trying to give me some tea

but it was pretty hot so he accidentally dropped the cup

it broke and somehow some of the pieces got in my hand

 

 **dolphin screech** : wait so why was he acting like everything was his fault??

it was obviously an accident

 

 **moike wazowki** : damn i didnt know joe knew how to spell

 

 **dolphin screech** : r o o d

 

 **stumpy boy** : i think sometimes pete blames himself for stuff like this

he's like apologizing to me a lot and he was crying earlier

but he's okay now :)

 

 **dolphin screech** : MY HEART CANT TAKE THIS

JUST KISS ALREADY D A M M I T

 

 _mom_ sent a video

(It's a video of Joe crying on the floor. He's saying that Pete and Patrick are the cutest couple ever.)

 

 **mom** : the fangirl has awoken

i repeat the fangirl has awoken

 

 _mom_ changed _dolphin screech_ ’s nickname to _uwu_

 

 **drisella kokane** : ew

i mean true but E W

 

 **moike wazowki** : we gotta make this shit official

whats their ship name

 

 **stumpy boy** : i-

we're not dating ???

 

 **dadlon** : Peterick.

 

 **drisella kokane** : le gASP

DAD SHIPS IT TOO

 

 **stumpy boy** : DON’T ENCOURAGE IT

 

 _dadlon_ renamed _beauty at its finest_ to _#peterick_

 

 **moike wazowki** : yES DALLON JOIN THE DARK SIDE

 

 **drisella kokane** : yes daddy

 

 **mom** : yall are wild but i ship it too

shit brendon has a daddy kink confirmed??

 

 _mom_ changed _drisella kokane_ ’s nickname to _daddy kink_

 

 **dadlon** : Brendon.

 

 **daddy kink** : yes daddy?

 

 **dadlon** : Why?

 

 **moike wazowki** : it doesnt help your case when your name is dadlon

 

 **calm yo dick** : hey im back wut did i miss

oh shit mike actually said somethin smart 4 once

 

 **stumpy boy** : joe has a bad case of extreme fangirling and shipping

dallon is a traitor

brendon has a daddy kink

so the usual

 

 **calm yo dick** : wtf is peterick ???

OH FUCK U GUYS

 

 **mom** : r o o d

 

 **daddy kink** : ^^

 

 **uwu** : ^^^

wait why the fuck is my name uwu

ew

 

 **dadlon** : Says the one who has no life because they're too busy shipping their friends.

 

 **daddy kink** : damn daddy is RUTHLESS

 

 **calm yo dick** : oh god he rlly does have a daddy kink

 

 **mom** : it's honestly concerning

 

 **uwu** : how old are you again???

 

 **stumpy boy** : brendon

are you okay???

 

 **daddy kink** : aw i appreciate the worry

but no i really do just have a daddy kink

  
**moike wazowki** : god has abandoned us

 

* * *

 

 **uwu** : do you ever just stop and think

what if pigs could ACTUALLY fly but we just dont know it

and theyre gonna get us when we least expect it

 

 **mom** : what the fuck are you high

 

 **uwu** : no im joe nice to meet you

 

 **calm yo dick** : aye he might b on 2 somethin

 

 **moike wazowki** : gO THE FUCK TO SLEEP

ITS 2 A M

 

 **daddy kink** : HUSH CHILD

i must know what happens next

 

 **mom** : joe you should really stop getting drunk off of apple juice at 2 am in the morning

its gonna kill you someday

 

 **moike wazowki** : wait WHAT

nope

no thanks

goodnight

 

 **uwu** : wOooOo we're going on a trip

 

 **calm yo dick** : ON OUR FAVORITE ROCKET SHIP

 

 **daddy kink** : SOARING THROUGH THE SKIES

 

 **uwu** : LITTLE EINSTEINS

wow i've never felt so loved before

 

 **calm yo dick** : thats wut friends r for

#wholesome

 

 **daddy kink** : ah yes wholesome texts at 2 am

 

 **uwu** : the devil must be appeased

lets drink in their honor

 

 **stumpy boy** : could you guys at least wait until the morning?

i'm tired and the dogs can sense your presence

 

 _stumpy boy_ sent a picture

(Even though it's 2 AM, you can see Patrick hugging his stuffed dog in the picture.)

 

 **uwu** : aWwwww how cuteee

 

 **daddy kink** : patrick is the epitome of smol bean

we must protecc

 

 **calm yo dick** : ugh fine patrick ur no fun :(

 

 **stumpy boy** : aw i'm sorry pete

i'll make it up to you

i'll go your house later okay?

 

 **daddy kink** : y'all-

 

 **uwu** : mY hEAAAARRRRTTT

 

 _uwu_ sent a video

(All you hear is Joe wailing and crying about how Pete should just propose to Patrick.)

 

 **calm yo dick** : are u fucking serious

sure patrick

 

 **stumpy boy** : <3

good night and sweet dreams everyone :)

 

 **daddy kink** : holy shit peterick really is real

 

 **uwu** : aHhhhHHhhhhhhh

 

 **calm yo dick** : gl hf joe

 

 **daddy kink** : i hope his parents don't have to call 911

he sounds like someone's choking him or some shit

 

 **calm yo dick** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

* * *

 

 **calm yo dick** : ALRIGHT WHICH ONE OF YOU FUCKS DID IT THIS TIME

 

 **daddy kink** : damn chill how do you have so much energy this early

 

 **dadlon** : I was walking to the restroom and I saw it.

We're playing dodgeball in PE today, and Patrick got headshot by someone with red hair.

 

 **moike wazowki** : wait red hair??

 

 **calm yo dick** : yEah he told me that but wHO EVEN HAS RED HAIR

 

 **moike wazowki** : OH MY GOD ITS JOSH DUN

 

 **calm yo dick** : who ???

 

 **dadlon** : Wait, Josh Dun?

Isn't he like way too talented for this world?

 

 **moike wazowki** : uH YEAH

 

 **calm yo dick** : hold on ill b back soon

 

 **moike wazowki** : oh god pete you better not go beat his ass up

 

 **dadlon** : Pete, stop. This isn't going to make the situation any better.

 

 **calm yo dick** : it's too late

this is patrick and pete just stormed out of the nurse's office

he also left his phone behind

oh god i think i see him on the blacktop

OH NO I THINK HE'S GOING TO RUN HIM OVER

 

 **moike wazowki** : wtf

oH SHIT I THINK I SEE HIM FROM SCIENCE CLASS

 

 **daddy kink** : hey guys what did i miss

oH SHIT WHY THE FUCK IS PETE HERE

AND WHY DID HE JUST TRUCK JOSH DUN DOWN

 

 **calm yo dick** : oh my god

 

 **daddy kink** : WTF HOW ARE YOU TEXTING US

AREN'T YOU GETTING READY TO CHOKE JOSH

 

 **calm yo dick** : THIS IS PATRICK

OH MY GOD WHAT IS PETE D O I N G

BRENDON DO SOMETHING

 

 **daddy kink** : WTH AM I SUPPOSED TO DO

HE'S GONNA KILL ME INSTEAD

 

 **calm yo dick** : uH IDK

just ask him to calm down

just try to ration with him or something

 

 **daddy kink** : well shit iero's sending pete to the office

i guess that solves the problem

here ill take josh to the nurse so we can see each other ;)

 

 **calm yo dick** : oh god

pete has a problem

 

 **moike wazowki** : no shit

 

 **daddy kink** : oh wow mike youre back

 

 **moike wazowki** : sorry i'm actually trying to bE A GOOD STUDENT

 

 **daddy kink** : stfu since when did you want to learn

 

 **moike wazowki** : this is bullying

 

* * *

 

 _stumpy boy_ added  _Josh Dun_ to  _#peterick_

 

 **stumpy boy** : oh god i forgot the gc was named that

 

 _stumpy boy_ renamed  _#peterick_ to  _pma_

 

 **moike wazowki** : pma?

 

 **stumpy boy** : positive mental attitude

the group chat really needs it

 

 **daddy kink** : no lies detected

 

 **calm yo dick** : hey guys

 

 _Josh Dun_ left the chat

 

 **moike wazowki** : alright what the fuck did you do now pete

 

 **calm yo dick** : i didnt do anything ???

 

 **uwu** : ah yes "didnt do anything"

w h a t a k n e e s l a p p e r

 

 **calm yo dick** : i thought he hurt him on purpose >:(

 

 **moike wazowki** : that's what you said to me after you fucking went insane

I STILL HAVE THE BRUISES AND SCARS

 

 **dadlon** : Didn't you get suspended for essentially assaulting Josh?

 

 **calm yo dick** : ᵒᵏ ʸᵉᵃʰ ᵇᵘᵗ ˢᵗᶦˡˡ

 

 **mom** : you guys are fucking dumb

how am i friends with all of you

 

 **daddy kink** : bUt mOooooooooom

its not that bad :(

 

 _mom_ sent a video

(It's a video of Joe bowing before a canvas with a considerable amount of dicks on it.)

 

 **mom** : i beg to differ

 

 **dadlon** : What do you guys even do in Toro's class?

 

 **moike wazowki** : they make masterpieces thats what they do

 

 **stumpy boy** : are we all just going to ignore that josh left out of nowhere???

 

 _stumpy boy_  added  _Josh Dun_  to  _pma_

 

 **stumpy boy** : hey josh

 

 **Josh Dun** : is pete still here?

 

 **stumpy boy** : wait what

um yeah why

 

 **Josh Dun** : oh god

patrick is he gonna hurt me again

 

 **stumpy boy** : pete are you gonna tell him

 

 **calm yo dick** : OKAY I'M SORRY JOSH

I THOUGHT YOU DID IT ON PURPOSE

 

 **Josh Dun** : i accept your apology

but my neck and arms are sore

like how does one kid do that ???

**stumpy boy** : oh my fucking god

 

 **daddy kink** : gASP

 

 **uwu** : THE CHILD HAS BEEN TAINTED

 

 **mom** : oh no

 

 **moike wazowki** : WHO DID THIS TO YOU STUMP

 

 **dadlon** : What has this world come to?

 

 **Josh Dun** : P A T R I C K

 

 **calm yo dick** : TRICK WHO FUCKING DID THIS TO U

 

 **mom** : i think we found our culprit

 

 **moike wazowki** : PETE WHAT DID YOU DO

 

 **stumpy boy** : guys

 

 **calm yo dick** : I DIDNT DO SHIT

 

 **daddy kink** : M H M

SAYS THE ONE WHOS PROBABLY KILLED A BITCH

 

 **stumpy boy** : GUYS

i don't mean to shout but can you just listen to me??

 

 **calm yo dick** : i-

 

 **moike wazowki** : you cant audibly yell when youre texting patrick

 

 **uwu** : further proof that patrick must be protected from all evils

 

 **Josh Dun** : what an angel

 

 **mom** : he really is made of sunshine and rainbows

 

 **dadlon** : No harm shall come to this blessed child.

 

 **daddy kink** : why do i feel so attacked by reading that

hot

 

 **mom** : are you guys a thing or what

like goddamn

 

 **dadlon** : My standards aren't that low.

 

 **calm yo dick** : DAMN HE RLLY JUST DID THAT

 

 **stumpy boy** : ANYWAY

can i just speak my thoughts??

 

 **daddy kink** : oh yeah go ahead

 

 **moike wazowki** : LET THE CHILD SPEAK

 

 **stumpy boy** : actually that's the thing

i'm not helpless

not everything that happens to me is on purpose

don't get me wrong

i'm flattered that you're trying to protect me

but i can also protect myself

 

 **uwu** : woah

damn patrick i didnt know you felt like that

 

 **mom** : patrick if we annoyed or bothered you with it

you could've told us to stop at any time

 

 **stumpy boy** : no it's not that

it's not that much of a problem to me

but sometimes it can get out of hand

 

 **dadlon** : I think someone should be apologizing.

 

 **calm yo dick** : OKAY IM SORRY X2

patrick im so so sorry

i never knew you felt that way

i just never want you to be hurt ever

you're my best fucking friend and i care about your well-being

 

 **uwu** : aWWWHHHHHHH

 

 **mom** : ok i'm not one to say this but

damn that's adorable

 

 **dadlon** : Agreed.

 

 **Josh Dun** : woah okay

i didnt know pete had a soft side

 

 **daddy kink** : sksksks

 

 **moike wazowki** : gdi i cant take this anymore

 

 **stumpy boy** : i-

thanks pete

i appreciate that

i worry about your well-being too

 

 **Josh Dun** : """"platonic""""

 

 _dadlon_ changed  _Josh Dun_ 's nickname to  _platonic_

 

 **platonic** : why dallon why

 

 **uwu** : oh god andy hold me im actually gonna cry

 

 **mom** : ugh you fangirl

 

 _mom_ sent a video

(Joe is holding onto Andy's arm whilst crying heavily.)

 

 **moike wazowki** : oh god he really is crying

 

 **dadlon** : It's becoming an obsession at this point.

 

 **calm yo dick** : trust me when i say its gone way past that point

 

 **stumpy boy** : it's even worse if you see it for yourself

 

 **daddy kink** : are we all really just going to ignore that joe asked andy to hold him

 

 **platonic** : wait a fucking minute

whats their ship name then

 

 **dadlon** : Trohley.

I'm pretty sure Brendon mentioned it once.

 

 **daddy kink** : aH YES

trohley and peterick

which ship is better place your bets

 

 **mom** : what the fuck

brendon you're not any better than joe

 

 **daddy kink** : oh come on i KNOW dallon mike and josh are in on it

 

 **moike wazowki** : ye

 

 **platonic** : why you gotta expose us like that

 

 **dadlon** : He's not wrong.

 

 **moike wazowki** : oh thank god it's next period

well except for pete you T H O T

 

 **calm yo dick** : you better watch out for when i come back

i'm gonna fucking murder you

 

* * *

 

 **daddy kink** : goddamn ryan ross looks fine af

 

 **moike wazowki** : hey isnt ryan ross that kid in yearbook

 

 **daddy kink** : he isnt just that kid in yearbook

hes a fucking god amongst men

 

 **uwu** : what the hell

who the fuck

 

 **daddy kink** : YOU DONT KNOW WHO RYAN ROSS IS ???

 

 **uwu** : no

 

 **daddy kink** : THE F U C K

LET ME EDUCATE YOU ON RYAN FUCKING ROSS

 

 **calm yo dick** : yo wtf i thought u were into dallon

 

 **dadlon** : I feel unloved.

 

 **mom** : ^^

 

 **uwu** : WHAT DO YOU MEAN

ISNT MY LOVE AND AFFECTION ENOUGH FOR YOU ANDY

WHY CANT YOU LOVE ME LIKE PETE AND PATRICK LOVE EACH OTHER

 

 **calm yo dick** : u better b glad im not at school right now

i will fuck u up joe

 

 

 **platonic** : speaking about love

no ones here to give me any

IM ADDING HIM

 

 _platonic_ added  _Tyler Joseph_ to  _pma_

 

 **platonic** : TY

 

 **Tyler Joseph** : MY BEST FREN

 

 _platonic_ changed  _Tyler Joseph_ 's nickname to  _best fren_

 

 **calm yo dick** : wait wtf

who r u

 

 **best fren** : who are you ???

 

 **stumpy boy** : wait ,,,

how did tyler know it was josh who added him??

i'm so confused

 

 **platonic** : we have best fren recognition powers

 

 **moike wazowki** : how the fuck does that work

 

 **platonic** : dont ask questions just let it happen

 

 **best fren** : i still don't know who any of you are

 

 **stumpy boy** : oh yeah

everyone say who their name is

i'm patrick stump

 

 **calm yo dick** : pete wentz

and apparently i have a problem

 

 **daddy kink** : brendon urie

yes you do have a problem pete

and yes i do have a daddy kink

 

 **moike wazowki** : mike naran

the only reason im in this chat is because pete beat me up

 

 **dadlon** : My name is Dallon Weekes.

I'm in this chat because Mike tried to tackle me.

 

 **mom** : oh shit we're late to this

uh andy hurley

don't ask me why my nickname is the way it is

 

 **uwu** : joe trohman B)

one of you fucks named me uwu because I KNOW WHENEVER Y'ALL ARE FUCKIN

 

 **calm yo dick** : gdi joe

stfu you fangirl

 

 **best fren** : wait dallon and brendon are in this chat

do you realize just how talented both of you are in adv choir

 

 **stumpy boy** : wait tyler you can sing ???

 

 **dadlon** : Wait, what?

I've never heard your name before, and you're in A Choir?

I would've definitely heard your name, though.

 

 **daddy kink** : yeah same here

how come i've never heard of you ??

 

 **best fren** : uh i think its because i dont really talk to anyone

and i dont really stand out i guess

 

 **platonic** : WHAT

HAVE ANY OF YOU HEARD TYLER SING

I NEED TO KNOW

 

 **dadlon** : Wait, now that I think about it...

I've actually never heard Tyler sing.

 

 **daddy kink** : wait me neither

 

 **moike wazowki** : woah i must hear

 

 **uwu** : our new friend here can sing?

yes please

 

 **best fren** : please don't show them that video jish

i don't think i'm ready to show them

 

 **platonic** : aw its okay ty

i wont show them until you say its okay

 

 _mom_ changed  _platonic_ 's nickname to  _jish_

 

 **jish** : boi

 

 **calm yo dick** : is joe ok

 

 _daddy kink_ sent a video

(Joe is holding his backpack and crying into it.)

 

 **stumpy boy** : that amount of crying isn't healthy

history is kind of boring without pete

at least mike's here

 

 **moike wazowki** : am i just the afterthought

 

 **uwu** : ^^

why doesnt andy love me

 

 **mom** : stfu joe

 

 **uwu** : :(

 

* * *

 

 

 **mom** : the torture is finally over for today

 

 **uwu** : take me home with you

 

 **mom** : ew no

 

 **moike wazowki** : the sexual tension is real

 

 **dadlon** : ^^

 

 **stumpy boy** : hey pete are you here?

 

 **calm yo dick** : yeah wut is it trick

 

 **stumpy boy** : is it okay if i come over?

 

 **calm yo dick** : i dont think so

i got grounded until my suspension ends

sorry tricky

 

 **uwu** : love cant stop you tho

 

 **calm yo dick** : it ends after tmrw

u better watch urself joe

 

 **uwu** : andy protect me pls

 

 **mom** : i don't want pete to get expelled for this shit

but i do want you to get hurt so good luck have fun

 

 **moike wazowki** : im so sorry for your loss joe

 

 **uwu** : im being bullied

where is my new friend josh

 

 **jish** : were not friends

and im going to taco bell with ty

 

 **best fren** : any of you want to come?

 

 **uwu** : ILL GO

 

 **daddy kink** : did i hear taco bell

yes please

 

 **dadlon** : I'd like some food, so sure, I'll go.

 

 **mom** : actually yeah take me with you

i dont want to be home right now

i know my parents are gonna force me to do shit once i get there

 

 **moike wazowki** : HOLD ON TAKE ME TOO

IM LONELY PLS

 

 **calm yo dick** : aw fuck i want taco bell

 

 **stumpy boy** : i'll go

i'll bring you some pete :)

 

 **calm yo dick** : <3

 

 **uwu** : my heart cant take this anymore

like holy shit what the f u c k

 

 **best fren** : you really didn't lie when you said joe had a problem

 

 **jish** : and now were taking him to taco bell

 

 **dadlon** : Let's hope we don't die.

 

 **daddy kink** : ok ok yeah thats cool

but can we go to taco bell now ???

 

 **stumpy boy** : where are we meeting up?

 

 **jish** : parking lot bois

both me and ty are here already

 

 **moike wazowki** : YEE

LETS FUCKING GO

 

 **uwu** : g i m m e f o o d

 

 **mom** : who's buying this shit

 

 **jish** : its on us

 

 **best fren** : yep

consider it a peace offering

 

 **daddy kink** : FUCK YEAH

FREE TACO BELL

 

 **stumpy boy** : are you sure?

i have some money

 

 **best fren** : no patrick stop being so nice

 

 **jish** : just let us give you something for once

 

 **stumpy boy** : no i insist

 

 **dadlon** : Patrick is too pure for this group chat.

 

 **moike wazowki** : we really dont deserve him

 

 **mom** : fucking agree

 

 **uwu** : bless your kind soul patrick

 

 **calm yo dick** : why are you so perfect

 

 **daddy kink** : tru tru

NOW LETS GET SOME FUCKING TACO BELL

 

 **jish** : LETS GO BOIS

 

 **best fren** : :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first off:  
> I AM SO SORRY ,,, the last update on this was last year :,)  
> i truly apologize for the sudden hiatus, and i tried to make it up with a really long update  
> i hope you can forgive me?
> 
> anyway here's a few things:  
> \- i changed my username (that doesn't really matter but i thought you might've wanted to know)  
> \- the reason why i haven't updated this was due to either (1) school & work, (2) no motivation, or (3) procrastination & laziness ;-;
> 
> what's gonna happen to the boys @ taco bell  
> find out on the next episode of dragon ball z  
> kudos & comments are appreciated! <3


	5. the taco bell saga begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> calm yo dick — Pete Wentz  
> stumpy boy — Patrick Stump  
> mom — Andy Hurley  
> uwu — Joe Trohman  
> daddy kink — Brendon Urie  
> moike wazowki — Mike Naran  
> dadlon — Dallon Weekes  
> jish — Josh Dun  
> best fren — Tyler Joseph  
> :L

**jish** : WHERE DID JOE GO

 

 **best fren** : JOE

 

 **mom** : oh my god you fucking dumbass what did you do

 

 **daddy kink** : WHERE THE FUCK

I WANT MY FUCKING TACO BELL

JOE COME BACK

 

 **stumpy boy** : guys i think i found him

 

 _stumpy boy_  sent a picture

(Joe's in a bush.)

 

 **mom** : WHAT

 

 **calm yo dick** : is he drunk on apple juice again ???

 

 **dadlon** : Why is Joe in a bush?

 

 **moike wazowki** : JOE WHAT THE HELL

I WANT MY FUCKING CHALUPAS

 

 **daddy kink** : THIS BITCH

WHERE HE AT

HES GONNA CATCH THESE HANDS

 

 **calm yo dick** : wtf is going on over there

 

 _mom_ sent a video

(Brendon saw Joe in the bush. Shit went down.)

 

 **uwu** : BRENDON

THAT FUCKING H U R T

 

 **daddy kink** : I JUST WANT MY FUCKING TACOS

M Y T A C O S

 

 _best fren_ renamed  _pma_ to _m y t a c o s_

 

 **moike wazowki** : wow how inspirational

 

 **mom** : don't encourage it you ding dong

 

 _dadlon_ changed  _moike wazowki_ 's nickname to  _ding dong_

 

 **ding dong** : GDI DALLON

 

 **calm yo dick** : "don't encourage it you ding dong"

-andy hurley 2k18

 

 **jish** : new senior quote

 

 **best fren** : a true icon

 

 **uwu** : wow im so glad i have the most caring friends

 

 **dadlon** : Can we just get some food now?

 

 **jish** : ALRIGHT ALRIGHT SHUT THE FUCK UP

LETS GET SOME FUCKING TACO BELL

 

 **calm yo dick** : get me some too pls

 

* * *

 

 **mom** : well shit

 

 **jish** : JOE

BRENDON

W H Y

TYLERS CRYING NOW YOU MONSTERS

 

 **dadlon** : Why did we have to take them with us?

 

 **calm yo dick** : wtf

 

 **uwu** : YEAH BRENDON WHAT THE FUCK

 

 **daddy kink** : SHUT THE FUCK UP JOE

YOU CANT SAY SHIT

IVE WAS PROVOKED

 

 **moike wazowki** : what the fuck is that broken english

 

 _calm yo dick_ changed  _daddy kink_ 's nickname to  _i've was provoked_

 

 **i've was provoked** : STOP BULLYING ME

 

 **jish** : THEN WHY DID YOU GET US KICKED OUT

WE DIDNT EVEN DO ANYTHING

 

 **calm yo dick** : w o t

 

 **stumpy boy** : brendon and joe had a "disagreement"

we got kicked out and they're basically banned from going back to that one

 

 **best fren** : aAAHhhhh

 

 **mom** : tyler loves taco bell with a passion

 

 **calm yo dick** : interesting

 

 **moike wazowki** : is that all you gained from this

 

 _uwu_ changed  _calm yo dick_ 's nickname to  _interesting_

 

 **interesting** : asshole

 

 **uwu** : :)

 

 **i've was provoked** : fuck u joe

 

 **uwu** : fucking fight me

 

 **mom** : dont do that

 

 **dadlon** : We don't need another person suspended.

 

 **jish** : how do your parents still allow you to go in public

 

 **interesting** : beats me

 

 **mom** : yikes

his own parents dont even know how bad it is

 

 _moike wazowki_ changed  _mom_ 's nickname to  _yikes_

 

 **yikes** : gee thanks for the new nickname

 

 **uwu** : wait whos gonna be our mom now

 

 _uwu_ changed  _yikes_ 's nickname to  _mom_

 

 **moike wazowki** : BOI

_interesting_ changed  _moike wazowki_ 's nickname to  _🤕 Hit 👊 or miss😳 I guess 🤔they 👉never ❌ miss, huh 😕😕? You 🙌got a boyfriend😍, I bet 🎰😶he 😨doesn't 👎kiss 😘😘 ya mwah💖 😻He gon' find 🔍🔍 another girl 👶 and he 😮won't😤 miss👌 ya🙀He 🤤gon' 😲skrrt and hit 👊👊 the dab😎 like 😄😄 Wiz 🤠Khalifa🤑_

__

**uwu** : oh god

 

 **🤕 Hit 👊 or miss😳 I guess 🤔they 👉never ❌ miss, huh 😕😕? You 🙌got a boyfriend😍, I bet 🎰😶he 😨doesn't 👎kiss 😘😘 ya mwah💖 😻He gon' find 🔍🔍 another girl 👶 and he 😮won't😤 miss👌 ya🙀He 🤤gon' 😲skrrt and hit 👊👊 the dab😎 like 😄😄 Wiz 🤠Khalifa🤑** : UHHH

 

 **stumpy boy** : OH GOD

PETE WHY

 

 **mom** : HOW DID YOU EVEN FIT THAT

 

 **dadlon** : How much does he hate us?

 

 **best fren** : more than you could ever know

 

 **🤕 Hit 👊 or miss😳 I guess 🤔they 👉never ❌ miss, huh 😕😕? You 🙌got a boyfriend😍, I bet 🎰😶he 😨doesn't 👎kiss 😘😘 ya mwah💖 😻He gon' find 🔍🔍 another girl 👶 and he 😮won't😤 miss👌 ya🙀He 🤤gon' 😲skrrt and hit 👊👊 the dab😎 like 😄😄 Wiz 🤠Khalifa🤑** : PLS CHANGE MY NICKNAME

 

 **interesting** : no

 

 **i've was provoked** : just let it happen

 

 _interesting_ changed the settings

 

 **🤕 Hit 👊 or miss😳 I guess 🤔they 👉never ❌ miss, huh 😕😕? You 🙌got a boyfriend😍, I bet 🎰😶he 😨doesn't 👎kiss 😘😘 ya mwah💖 😻He gon' find 🔍🔍 another girl 👶 and he 😮won't😤 miss👌 ya🙀He 🤤gon' 😲skrrt and hit 👊👊 the dab😎 like 😄😄 Wiz 🤠Khalifa🤑** : W H Y

 

 **mom** : PETE WHAT THE FUCK

 

 **jish** : NOW NONE OF US CAN LEAVE

 

 **stumpy boy** : ಥ^ಥ

 

 **🤕 Hit 👊 or miss😳 I guess 🤔they 👉never ❌ miss, huh 😕😕? You 🙌got a boyfriend😍, I bet 🎰😶he 😨doesn't 👎kiss 😘😘 ya mwah💖 😻He gon' find 🔍🔍 another girl 👶 and he 😮won't😤 miss👌 ya🙀He 🤤gon' 😲skrrt and hit 👊👊 the dab😎 like 😄😄 Wiz 🤠Khalifa🤑** : OR CHANGE MY DUMB ASS NAME

 

 **interesting** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

* * *

 

 **uwu** : fuck its school again

 

 **i've was provoked** : yOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

 

 **mom** : what

 

 **stumpy boy** : no brendon don't do this

 

 **i've was provoked** : TIME TO FUCK UP JOE TROHMAN

 

 **uwu** : COME AT ME I DARE YOU

 

 **dadlon** : Can you not do that?

 

 **mom** : it's too late

you can't stop them

 

 **uwu** : SQUARE UP

 

 **i've was provoked** : LETS SETTLE THIS LIKE REAL MEN

BASKETBALL COURTS

NOW

 

 **uwu** : B E T

 

 **stumpy boy** : o h m y g o d n o

 

 **🤕 Hit 👊 or miss😳 I guess 🤔they 👉never ❌ miss, huh 😕😕? You 🙌got a boyfriend😍, I bet 🎰😶he 😨doesn't 👎kiss 😘😘 ya mwah💖 😻He gon' find 🔍🔍 another girl 👶 and he 😮won't😤 miss👌 ya🙀He 🤤gon' 😲skrrt and hit 👊👊 the dab😎 like 😄😄 Wiz 🤠Khalifa🤑** : where did they go

 

 **stumpy boy** : i think i see them

wHAT ARE THEY D O I N G

 

 **🤕 Hit 👊 or miss😳 I guess 🤔they 👉never ❌ miss, huh 😕😕? You 🙌got a boyfriend😍, I bet 🎰😶he 😨doesn't 👎kiss 😘😘 ya mwah💖 😻He gon' find 🔍🔍 another girl 👶 and he 😮won't😤 miss👌 ya🙀He 🤤gon' 😲skrrt and hit 👊👊 the dab😎 like 😄😄 Wiz 🤠Khalifa🤑** : ^^

 

 **interesting** : wuts hppning

**mom** : brendon and joe are going AT IT

like damn i think theres blood

WAIT WHAT

 

 **stumpy boy** : OH MY GOD

 

 **jish** : hey guys im almost at school whats going on

oh

OH

 

 **dadlon** : I-

 

 **best fren** : skskjksdks

 

**🤕 Hit 👊 or miss😳 I guess 🤔they 👉never ❌ miss, huh 😕😕? You 🙌got a boyfriend😍, I bet 🎰😶he 😨doesn't 👎kiss 😘😘 ya mwah💖 😻He gon' find 🔍🔍 another girl 👶 and he 😮won't😤 miss👌 ya🙀He 🤤gon' 😲skrrt and hit 👊👊 the dab😎 like 😄😄 Wiz 🤠Khalifa🤑** : DAMN

 

 _dadlon_ sent a video

(In the middle of Brendon and Joe's fight, a girl comes running in and tackles both of them.)

 

 **interesting** : hOLY SHIT

THEY GOT FCKED UP LMAO

 

 **jish** : they got sent to the nurse lol

 

 **🤕 Hit 👊 or miss😳 I guess 🤔they 👉never ❌ miss, huh 😕😕? You 🙌got a boyfriend😍, I bet 🎰😶he 😨doesn't 👎kiss 😘😘 ya mwah💖 😻He gon' find 🔍🔍 another girl 👶 and he 😮won't😤 miss👌 ya🙀He 🤤gon' 😲skrrt and hit 👊👊 the dab😎 like 😄😄 Wiz 🤠Khalifa🤑**: that girl really fucked them up

 

 **best fren** : whats their input on this

 

 **i've was provoked** : OKAY

what tHe FUCK

 

 **uwu** : WHO THE HELL WAS T H A T

 

 **mom** : yOU TELL ME

 

 **stumpy boy** : who was that girl

 

 **i've was provoked** : LIKE DAMN THAT HURT

oh shit shes coming to williams' office

 

 **uwu** : Y I K E S

oh shit i was gonna add her but i cant

 

 **jish** : WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT

 

 **dadlon** : ^^

 

 **🤕 Hit 👊 or miss😳 I guess 🤔they 👉never ❌ miss, huh 😕😕? You 🙌got a boyfriend😍, I bet 🎰😶he 😨doesn't 👎kiss 😘😘 ya mwah💖 😻He gon' find 🔍🔍 another girl 👶 and he 😮won't😤 miss👌 ya🙀He 🤤gon' 😲skrrt and hit 👊👊 the dab😎 like 😄😄 Wiz 🤠Khalifa🤑**: BOI

 

 **best fren** : y'all are dumb

 

 **interesting** : Y ' A L L

 

 _interesting_ changed  _best fren_ 's nickname to _Y ' A L L_

 

 **Y ' A L L** : BULLY

 

 **interesting** : ;)

 

 **stumpy boy** : why are we even here

 

 **jish** : i think we actually all died and went to hell

 

 **mom** : and pete is satan

 

* * *

 

 **uwu** : pete i sent it to you

ADD HER

 

 **dadlon** : Don't do that.

 

 **mom** : no stop dont do that

shut yo ass up you fangirl

 

 **uwu** : ANDY I KNOW U LOVE ME BUT NOT NOW

DO IT WENTZ

 

 **mom** : i dont love you

 

 **jish** : joe no one loves you

 

 **uwu** : :(

 

 **interesting** : wuts in it 4 me

 

 **uwu** : ill send you pepe memes

 

 **Y ' A L L** : are

are you serious

 

 **interesting** : YEE

 

 **stumpy boy** : don't underestimate it

 

 _interesting_ added  _Nicole Row_ to  _m y t a c o s_

 

 **Y ' A L L** : WHY

 

 **Nicole Row** : okay now what the fuck is this

 

 **uwu** : uh hi

im the kid you tackled earlier

 

 **Nicole Row** : which one

the one with the afro or the one with the fivehead

 

 **jish** : LMAO

 

 **i've was provoked** : R O O D

 

 **mom** : here i'll introduce everyone because i'm the most responsible one here

 

 **i've was provoked** : why cant i do it

 

 **Y ' A L L** : shush brendon

the adults are trying to talk

 

 **Nicole Row** : damn

 

 **mom** : ANYWAY

im andy hurley

dont ask why my name is mom

uwu is joe trohman

he uses tumblr in his free time

 

 **uwu** : ANDY SHUT UP

 

 **🤕 Hit 👊 or miss😳 I guess 🤔they 👉never ❌ miss, huh 😕😕? You 🙌got a boyfriend😍, I bet 🎰😶he 😨doesn't 👎kiss 😘😘 ya mwah💖 😻He gon' find 🔍🔍 another girl 👶 and he 😮won't😤 miss👌 ya🙀He 🤤gon' 😲skrrt and hit 👊👊 the dab😎 like 😄😄 Wiz 🤠Khalifa🤑**: LMAOOOOOOOOO

 

 _interesting_ changed  _uwu_ 's nickname to  _tumblr bitch_

 

 **Nicole Row** : is this what i got myself into

 

 **dadlon** : Welcome to hell.

 

 **i've was provoked** : IM BRENDON URIE

 

 **jish** : SHUT YO ASS UP

 

 **i've was provoked** : >:(

 

 **mom** : like i was saying

i've was provoked is brendon urie

he can't spell as you can see

 

 **i've was provoked** : oh fUCK YOU

 

 **mom** : interesting is pete wentz

he gets "motivated" a lot

 

 **🤕 Hit 👊 or miss😳 I guess 🤔they 👉never ❌ miss, huh 😕😕? You 🙌got a boyfriend😍, I bet 🎰😶he 😨doesn't 👎kiss 😘😘 ya mwah💖 😻He gon' find 🔍🔍 another girl 👶 and he 😮won't😤 miss👌 ya🙀He 🤤gon' 😲skrrt and hit 👊👊 the dab😎 like 😄😄 Wiz 🤠Khalifa🤑**: "motivated"

 

 **interesting** : ;)

 

 **jish** : he'll try to fuck you up

watch out

 

 **tumblr bitch** : yeah even tho you tackled us

petes out here trying to get himself arrested for assault

 

 **interesting** : >:0

 

 **Nicole Row** : are you out of your damn mind

 

 **mom** : stumpy boy is patrick stump

an angel sent from heaven

 

 **Y ' A L L** : no lies detected

 

 **stumpy boy** : t( •̀_•́ t )

 

 **jish** : what did we tell you

 

 **Nicole Row** : damn you were right

 

 **mom** : dadlon is dallon weekes

no further explanation is needed

the one with the long ass name is mike naran

a professional dipshit

 

 **🤕 Hit 👊 or miss😳 I guess 🤔they 👉never** ❌ **miss, huh 😕😕? You 🙌got a boyfriend😍, I bet 🎰😶he 😨doesn't 👎kiss 😘😘 ya mwah💖 😻He gon' find 🔍🔍 another girl 👶 and he 😮won't😤 miss👌 ya🙀He 🤤gon' 😲skrrt and hit 👊👊 the dab😎 like 😄😄 Wiz 🤠Khalifa🤑**: fuck you

 

 **mom** : jish is josh dun

he gifted us free taco bell

Y ' A L L is tyler joseph

mainly a victim in all of this

 

 **Y ' A L L** : tru tru

 

 **Nicole Row** : "the one with the long ass name"

i hardly know anyone here

but i already hate all of you

 

 _interesting_ changed  _Nicole Row_ 's nickname to _i hardly know anyone here but i already hate all of you_

 

 **i hardly know anyone here but i already hate all of you** : why are you like this

 

 **interesting** : its the initiation

 

 **🤕 Hit 👊 or miss😳 I guess 🤔they 👉never** ❌ **miss, huh 😕😕? You 🙌got a boyfriend😍, I bet 🎰😶he 😨doesn't 👎kiss 😘😘 ya mwah💖 😻He gon' find 🔍🔍 another girl 👶 and he 😮won't😤 miss👌 ya🙀He 🤤gon' 😲skrrt and hit 👊👊 the dab😎 like 😄😄 Wiz 🤠Khalifa🤑**: its happened to all of us dw

 

 **i hardly know anyone here but i already hate all of you** : fuck i cant leave

 

 **stumpy boy** : i'll give you two guesses as to who did that

 

 **i hardly know anyone here but i already hate all of you** : dammit

 

 **i've was provoked** : pete made the group chat too

 

 **dadlon** : Everything bad that happens is always because of Pete.

 

 **jish** : ^^

 

 **tumblr bitch** : Y I K E S

 

 **Y ' A L L** : WAIT YOU'RE RIGHT

 

 **🤕 Hit 👊 or miss😳 I guess 🤔they 👉never ❌ **miss, huh 😕😕? You 🙌got a boyfriend😍, I bet 🎰😶he 😨doesn't 👎kiss 😘😘 ya mwah💖 😻He gon' find 🔍🔍 another girl 👶 and he 😮won't😤 miss👌 ya🙀He 🤤gon' 😲skrrt and hit 👊👊 the dab😎 like 😄😄 Wiz 🤠Khalifa🤑****: NANI

 

 **Y ' A L L** : YOU WEEB

 

 **mom** : oh

my

god

 

 **i've was provoked** : PETE WENTZ

WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS

 

 **interesting** : sTOP BLLYING ME

UR ALL SO MEAN 2 ME >:(

 

 **i hardly know anyone here but i already hate all of you** : can you speak english

 

 **interesting** : no i abbrvi8 wrds

 

 **stumpy boy** : yeah i think he put it in a song he wrote

he called it thnks fr th mmrs

 

 **tumblr bitch** : what the fuck pete

what does "thnks fr the mmrs" even mean

 

 **interesting** : its "thanks for the memories" dumbass

get with the times

 

 **mom** : ugh you edgelord

 

 **i hardly know anyone here but i already hate all of you** : wait what

 

 **🤕 Hit 👊 or miss😳 I guess 🤔they 👉never ❌ **miss, huh 😕😕? You 🙌got a boyfriend😍, I bet 🎰😶he 😨doesn't 👎kiss 😘😘 ya mwah💖 😻He gon' find 🔍🔍 another girl 👶 and he 😮won't😤 miss👌 ya🙀He 🤤gon' 😲skrrt and hit 👊👊 the dab😎 like 😄😄 Wiz 🤠Khalifa🤑****: the fuck???

 

 **i've was provoked** : you write songs????

w o t

 

 **interesting** : shut up lemme do wut i want

 

 **dadlon** : Wow, I didn't know Pete was such a poet.

 

 **tumblr bitch** : have you SEEN the shit hes written ??

 

 **stumpy boy** : """"""poet""""""

 

 **mom** : "i'll stop wearing black when they make a darker color"

"are you smelling that shit"

"when you catch fire, i wouldn't piss to put you out"

 

 **interesting** : ITS CALLED CRE8IVITY

 

 **tumblr bitch** : creativity my ass

 

 **jish** : wow im so inspired pete

 

 **Y ' A L L** : i didn't know he wrote such meaningful lyrics

 

 **i hardly know anyone here but i already hate all of you** : you emo fuck

 

 **interesting** : REPRTED 4 BLLYING

>:((

 

 **🤕 Hit 👊 or miss😳 I guess 🤔they 👉never ❌ **miss, huh 😕😕? You 🙌got a boyfriend😍, I bet 🎰😶he 😨doesn't 👎kiss 😘😘 ya mwah💖 😻He gon' find 🔍🔍 another girl 👶 and he 😮won't😤 miss👌 ya🙀He 🤤gon' 😲skrrt and hit 👊👊 the dab😎 like 😄😄 Wiz 🤠Khalifa🤑****: i wouldnt piss to put you out

 

 **dadlon** : "I'll stop wearing black when they make a darker color."

I think that's my new senior quote.

 

 **interesting** : STFU DAD

U DONT UNDRSTND

 

 **i hardly know anyone here but i already hate all of you** : iTs NoT a PhAsE dAd

 

 **jish** : LMAO

 

 **interesting** : T R I G G E R E D

 

 **Y ' A L L** : let the truth be exposed

 

 **interesting** : wheres trick

i need cmfrt in ths bllyng

 

 **jish** : how lazy are u

 

 **i hardly know anyone here but i already hate all of you** : thats wHAT I ASKED

 

 **tumblr bitch** : this is only the beginning

 

 **mom** : you haven't seen the end of it yet

 

 **interesting** : wHERES TRICK

 

 **Y ' A L L** : he's actually being a good student unlike you

 

 _dadlon_ sent a picture

(An blessed painting of our favorite stumpy boy.)

 

 **i hardly know anyone here but i already hate all of you** : wtf that looks EXACTLY like patrick

 

 **jish** : WOAH

H E  R E A L L Y D I D T H A T

 

 **Y ' A L L** : DALLON I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD PAINT

 

 **i've was provoked** : what the actual FUCK

 

 **🤕 Hit 👊 or miss😳 I guess 🤔they 👉never ❌ miss, huh 😕😕? You 🙌got a boyfriend😍, I bet 🎰😶he 😨doesn't 👎kiss 😘😘 ya mwah💖 😻He gon' find 🔍🔍 another girl 👶 and he 😮won't😤 miss👌 ya🙀He 🤤gon' 😲skrrt and hit 👊👊 the dab😎 like 😄😄 Wiz 🤠Khalifa**: wOW THATS AMAZING

 

 **mom** : DAMN DALLON

 

 **tumblr bitch** : skskkdks cute

 

 **interesting** : PLS SEND

 

 **jish** : stfu you desperate shit

 

 **Y ' A L L** : give the poet what he wants

 

 **i hardly know anyone here but i already hate all of you** : ah yes

pete wentz >>>>>> william shakespeare

 

 **interesting** : SHUT UP

 

 **dadlon:** Roses are red, violets are blue.

 

 **interesting** : VIOLETS R VIOLET U FUCK

 

 **dadlon** : Fine.

Roses are red, violets are violet.

Sometimes Pete Wentz should just stay quiet.

 

 **i hardly know anyone here but i already hate all of you** : rip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> today on this (late) installment of disorganized religion:  
> \- pete is a poet  
> \- nicole row joins the battle  
> \- joe uses tumblr  
> also,,,  
> HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY MANIA!  
> it's been a year since fall out boy last gifted us this godly album oml  
> kudos & comments are appreciated! <3


	6. josh dun is a twinkie confirmed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> interesting — Pete Wentz  
> stumpy boy — Patrick Stump  
> mom — Andy Hurley  
> tumblr bitch — Joe Trohman  
> i've was provoked — Brendon Urie  
> "the one with the long ass name" — Mike Naran  
> i hardly know anyone here but i already hate all of you — Nicole Row  
> dadlon — Dallon Weekes  
> jish — Josh Dun  
> Y ' A L L — Tyler Joseph  
> -  
> i honestly can't motivate myself to work on this i'm sorry ಥ ͜ʖಥ

**tumblr bitch** : hey guys

 

 **🤕 Hit 👊 or miss😳 I guess 🤔they 👉never ❌ miss, huh 😕😕? You 🙌got a boyfriend😍, I bet 🎰😶he 😨doesn't 👎kiss 😘😘 ya mwah💖 😻He gon' find 🔍🔍 another girl 👶 and he 😮won't😤 miss👌 ya🙀He 🤤gon' 😲skrrt and hit 👊👊 the dab😎 like 😄😄 Wiz 🤠Khalifa🤑**: wtf do u want its 3 am

 

 **mom** : oh god i forgot you were still named that

 

 **interesting** : tHe DeViLs HoUr

 

 **i hardly know anyone here but i already hate all of you** : what is it

 

 **tumblr bitch** : wtf nicole stays up too ???

 

 **i hardly know anyone here but i already hate all of you** : well now i do since im highkey scared that one of u fucks is gonna murder me in my sleep

 

 **mom** : youre not the only one

 

 **interesting** : wowie

 

 **i hardly know anyone here but i already hate all of you** : stfu wentz youre one of them

 

 **interesting** : u bitch

ill hv u no im cmng bck 2day

 

 **tumblr bitch** : hey thats my name

 

 **🤕 Hit 👊 or miss😳 I guess 🤔they 👉never ❌ miss, huh 😕😕? You 🙌got a boyfriend😍, I bet 🎰😶he 😨doesn't 👎kiss 😘😘 ya mwah💖 😻He gon' find 🔍🔍 another girl 👶 and he 😮won't😤 miss👌 ya🙀He 🤤gon' 😲skrrt and hit 👊👊 the dab😎 like 😄😄 Wiz 🤠Khalifa🤑** : ok ok yeah thats cool now gO THE FUCK TO SLEEP

 

* * *

 

 **i've was provoked** : DALLON JAMES WEEKES

 

 **dadlon** : What do you want?

I'm trying to not fail math.

 

 **interesting** : wow i didnt no u cared abt math

mr york hates me lul

 

 **tumblr bitch** : damn rip

 

 **jish** : what a white name

u white boy

 

 **mom** : ok let's be real here

we all know who the real white boy is

 

 **i hardly know anyone here but i already hate all of you** : HES A TWINKIE

 

 _interesting_  changed  _jish_ 's nickname to  _twinkie_

 

 **twinkie** : NICOLE PETE I S W E A R

 

 **interesting** : u cant change ur name loser

 

 **i've was provoked** : aNYWAY

 

 **twinkie** : pete wentz did u know that i hate u

 

 **i've was provoked** : LIKE I WAS SAYING

FUCK OFF JOSH

 

 **twinkie** : no

 

 **i've was provoked** : A N Y W A Y

 

 **stumpy boy** : hey guys what did i miss

art class is nice

 

 **i've was provoked** : FUCK

 

 **mom** : rip brendon

 

 **🤕 Hit 👊 or miss😳 I guess 🤔they 👉never ❌ miss, huh 😕😕? You 🙌got a boyfriend😍, I bet 🎰😶he 😨doesn't 👎kiss 😘😘 ya mwah💖 😻He gon' find 🔍🔍 another girl 👶 and he 😮won't😤 miss👌 ya🙀He 🤤gon' 😲skrrt and hit 👊👊 the dab😎 like 😄😄 Wiz 🤠Khalifa🤑**: liek if you cri evrytim

 

 **stumpy boy** : what is going on i'm so confused

 

 **dadlon** : Brendon's trying to tell us something, but all of you keep interrupting him.

:)

 

 **i hardly know anyone here but i already hate all of you** : sad boi hours

 

 _interesting_ changed  _i hardly know anyone here but i already hate all of you_ 's nickname to  _sad boi hours_

 

 **sad boi hours** : i have been liberated

 

 **🤕 Hit 👊 or miss😳 I guess 🤔they 👉never ❌ miss, huh 😕😕? You 🙌got a boyfriend😍, I bet 🎰😶he 😨doesn't 👎kiss 😘😘 ya mwah💖 😻He gon' find 🔍🔍 another girl 👶 and he 😮won't😤 miss👌 ya🙀He 🤤gon' 😲skrrt and hit 👊👊 the dab😎 like 😄😄 Wiz 🤠Khalifa🤑**: lucky

 

 **stumpy boy** : this got really depressing really quickly

 

 **tumblr bitch** : lmao story of my life

 

 **mom** : joe's crying now

thanks

 

 **sad boi hours** : hahah i see him what a loser

 

 **interesting** : damn ur mean

 

 **twinkie** : karma

 

 **Y ' A L L** : credit karma

 

 _interesting_ changed  _Y ' A L L_ 's nickname to  _credit karma_

 

 **credit karma** : thanks pete

 

 **i've was provoked** : I GOT SONETJING TO SAY NUT U ALL EONT LET ME

 

 **dadlon** : ???

 

 **sad boi hours** : N U T

 

 **🤕 Hit 👊 or miss😳 I guess 🤔they 👉never ❌ miss, huh 😕😕? You 🙌got a boyfriend😍, I bet 🎰😶he 😨doesn't 👎kiss 😘😘 ya mwah💖 😻He gon' find 🔍🔍 another girl 👶 and he 😮won't😤 miss👌 ya🙀He 🤤gon' 😲skrrt and hit 👊👊 the dab😎 like 😄😄 Wiz 🤠Khalifa🤑**: ok damn brendon no need to yell

 

 **i've was provoked** : FUCK I NG M I K E

 

 **🤕 Hit 👊 or miss😳 I guess 🤔they 👉never ❌ miss, huh 😕😕? You 🙌got a boyfriend😍, I bet 🎰😶he 😨doesn't 👎kiss 😘😘 ya mwah💖 😻He gon' find 🔍🔍 another girl 👶 and he 😮won't😤 miss👌 ya🙀He 🤤gon' 😲skrrt and hit 👊👊 the dab😎 like 😄😄 Wiz 🤠Khalifa🤑**: ??? no ones fucking me ???

 

 **i've was provoked** : ALSKJDFHAUISHFKJLALSJ

 

 **sad boi hours** : naran i think u broke him

 

 **tumblr bitch** : what do we do with the body

 

 **credit karma** : is that really the first thing you think of ???

 

 **interesting** : bury it

ill hlp u

 

 **stumpy boy** : pete i-

just let the man talk already

 

 **dadlon** : We probably should.

I want to hear what Brendon has to say.

 

 **i've was provoked** : T H A N K U

 

 **🤕 Hit 👊 or miss😳 I guess 🤔they 👉never ❌ miss, huh 😕😕? You 🙌got a boyfriend😍, I bet 🎰😶he 😨doesn't 👎kiss 😘😘 ya mwah💖 😻He gon' find 🔍🔍 another girl 👶 and he 😮won't😤 miss👌 ya🙀He 🤤gon' 😲skrrt and hit 👊👊 the dab😎 like 😄😄 Wiz 🤠Khalifa🤑**: THANK U NEXT NEXT THANK U NEXT NEXT THANK U NEXT NEXT IM SO FUCKING GRATEFUL FOR MY EX

 

 _interesting_ changed  _🤕 Hit 👊 or miss😳 I guess 🤔they 👉never ❌ miss, huh 😕😕? You 🙌got a boyfriend😍, I bet 🎰😶he 😨doesn't 👎kiss 😘😘 ya mwah💖 😻He gon' find 🔍🔍 another girl 👶 and he 😮won't😤 miss👌 ya🙀He 🤤gon' 😲skrrt and hit 👊👊 the dab😎 like 😄😄 Wiz 🤠Khalifa🤑_'s nickname to  _thank u, next_

 

 **thank u, next** : IM FREE

ARIANA GRANDE IS A QUEEN

 

 **interesting** : yw

 

 **i've was provoked** : thats nice and all bUt CaN yOu LiStEn To Me NoW

 

 **sad boi hours** : ok damn chill tf out

 

 **i've was provoked** : sO

do u all know who ryan ross is ??

hes yearbook president

 

 **mom** : no whos that

 

 **tumblr bitch** : WHAT

U DONT KNOW WHO THE RYAN ROSS IS

HE GOT THAT LEGENDARY AESTHETIC

 

 **mom** : ew youre disgusting

 

 **tumblr bitch** : 😔😔😔

 

 **interesting** : ye ik tht kid hes prtty cool

 

 **dadlon** : Who's Ryan Ross?

 

 **twinkie** : ohhh so thats the guy i KOed during pe

 

 **credit karma** : sKSDSK JOSH

and yeah josh told me about him

 

 **stumpy boy** : wait what

pete how come you never told me about this ryan ross ???

 

 **interesting** : oops

 

 **thank u, next** : excuse me who tHE FUCK IS RYAN ROSS

 

 **i've was provoked** : its kinda sad barely half of u know him

hes a god amongst men

anyway so he sends me pics of stuff

 

 **interesting** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **thank u, next** : damn brendon get some

 

 **i've was provoked** : nOt LiKe ThAt sKSk

anyway so he sends me drama bc u know how i like drama

 

 **tumblr bitch** : can confirm

 

 **dadlon** : Wait, so, what did you call me for?

 

 **stumpy boy** : yeah i need explanations

 

 **twinkie** : sHh brendon about to spill some tea

 

 **thank u, next** : *sIpS tEa*

 

 **credit karma** : H I S H I S T E R S

 

 **interesting** : tbh james charles is ovrrtd

 

 **mom** : uh oh

 

 **interesting** : ???

 

 **tumblr bitch** : tHE FUCK DID U SAY BITCH

JAMES CHARLES IS A GOD FITE ME

 

 **interesting** : gladly

fite me now

 

 **tumblr bitch** : ⁿᵒⁿᵒⁿᵒ ᶦᵐ ˢᵒʳʳʸ

 

 **i've was provoked** : damn petes first day back and hes already threatening us

 

 **interesting** : ;)

 

 **mom** : rip

 

 **i've was provoked** : a l r i g h t l e t m e c o n t i n u e

so today ryan sent me something i think dallon should explain

 

 _i've was provoked_ sent a photo

(Dallon and a blue-haired boy are talking with smiles on their faces.)

 

 **tumblr bitch** : * S I P S T E A I N T E N S E L Y *

wHos that dallon ???

 

 **thank u, next** : dallon cheating on brendon :0000

 

 **dadlon** : We're not even together?

 

 **interesting** : woah dallon

 

 **twinkie** : 🤔🤔

 

 **i've was provoked** : big thonking hours

sdSkDs **thinking

 

 **thank u, next** : t h o n k u, n e x t

 

 _interesting_ changed  _i've was provoked_ 's nickname to  _big thonking hours_

 

 **big thonking hours** : thonk u

 

 **credit karma** : dallon i-

 

 **stumpy boy** : (◕ᴥ◕)

 

 **mom** : dallon whos that

 

 **dadlon** : I-

Here, why don't you have him explain it?

Pete, I sent you the stuff.

You can add him.

 

 **interesting** : A L R I G H T B O I S

 

 **i've was provoked** : oOOooOoh whos it gonna be

 

 **thank u, next** : ITS GONNA BE ME

 

 **mom** : ugh u nsync hoe

 

 **thank u, next** : nsync is legendary 😤😤😤

 

 _interesting_ added  _Michael_ _Way_  to  _m y t a c o s_

 

 **interesting** : SHIT WRNG 1

 

 _interesting_ removed  _Michael Way_ from  _m y t a c o s_

 

 **stumpy boy** : was that the science teacher

 

 **interesting** : ⁿᵒ

 

 **big thonking hours** : damn petes going for older men

patrick u better watch out

 

 **stumpy boy** : i-

 

 **interesting** : aNYWAY

 

 _interesting_ added  _Ryan Seaman_ to  _m y t a c o s_

 

 **Ryan Seaman** : my tacos? my tacos

hotel? trivago

 

 **tumblr bitch** : hey i like this guy

 

 **credit karma** : do we have to introduce ourselves all over again

 

 **stumpy boy** : don't worry i got this

interesting: pete wentz

stumpy boy: patrick stump

tumblr bitch: joe trohman

mom: andy hurley

i've was provoked: brendon urie

thank u, next: mike naran

dadlon: dallon weekes

twinkie: josh dun

credit karma: tyler joseph

sad boi hours: nicole row

 

 **Ryan Seaman** : oh yay dallons here

hey dal

 

 **dadlon** : Hey Ryan.

 

 **i've was provoked** : nice copy and paste

wait

where did nicole go

 

 **credit karma** : ???

 

 **tumblr bitch** : wait thats true

it says active 30 mins ago

wait oh fuck shes not in her seat

 

 **twinkie** : wot

 

 **mom** : oh shit joes right

pete patrick joe nicole and i have art together for 4th but nicoles not here ???

 

 **i've was provoked** : holy shit were assholes

 

 **dadlon** : I can't believe we didn't notice earlier.

 

 **thank u, next** : ok when u type it like that u sound sarcastic and dead inside

 

 **dadlon** : Mike, if you don't stop talking, I'm going to make you dead.

 

 **thank u, next** : woah woah woah cHILL

ur turning into pete smh

 

 **interesting** : r o o d

 

 **Ryan Seaman** : dally u just gotta relax

drink some apple juice

 

 **credit karma** : what ???

 

 **tumblr bitch** : oh my god he gets drunk off of apple juice too ???

 

 **Ryan Seaman** : 100%

a doctor a day keeps the apple away

 

 **twinkie** : sKskdjfs wOt

 

 **dadlon** : He really is drunk-

 

 **Ryan Seaman** : dal look outside

 

 **dadlon** : Ryan, please.

Don't.

 

 **Ryan Seaman** : its fiiiiiiine

its gonna be 5th period soon anyway

 

 **mom** : oh my god hes as drunk as joe

 

 **tumblr bitch** : mY DRUNK BUDDY

 

 **Ryan Seaman** : :D

oh yay time for pe

 

 **stumpy boy** : guys i found nicole

pete go to history without me i'll meet you there

i gotta help her

 

 **interesting** : aw man

i hpe shes ok

 

 **credit karma** : wait what happened ???

 

 **stumpy boy** : she doesn't want me to talk about it

i'll wait until she's ready to tell you guys

 

 **thank u, next** : oh shit i hope shes not hurt

 

 **twinkie** : aHh i hope shes ok

 

 **i've was provoked** : thats tuff

but seriously i hope shes fine

 

 **credit karma** : oh no

tell nicole i hope shes all good

 

 **tumblr bitch** : shit shit shit

noooo

 

 **mom** : damn while we were fucking around

tell her i said sorry for being an asshole

 

 **Ryan Seaman** : aw i hope shes okay

 

 **dadlon** : We all do.

 

 **stumpy boy** : bye guys

nicole says thanks to all of you

 

 **thank u, next** : that was wholesome for once

 

 **Ryan Seaman** : shhh mike stop ruining the moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dw nicole comes back next chapter  
> ik this isn't that good of a chapter, sorry about that  
> i've been going through some stuff lately (but that's not really that good of an excuse, is it?) and it's been hard to motivate myself to do much  
> also i have an urge to add jake chams into this, thoughts?  
> kudos & comments are appreciated! <3


	7. stop assuming jimmy's gender

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> interesting — Pete Wentz  
> stumpy boy — Patrick Stump  
> mom — Andy Hurley  
> tumblr bitch — Joe Trohman  
> big thonking hours — Brendon Urie  
> thank u, next — Mike Naran  
> sad boi hours — Nicole Row  
> dadlon — Dallon Weekes  
> twinkie — Josh Dun  
> credit karma — Tyler Joseph  
> -  
> ryan seaman is very underappreciated

**interesting** : i hv an idea lul

 

 **stumpy boy** : i'm concerned

 

 **big thonking hours** : ^^

 

 _interesting_ changed  _Ryan Seaman_ 's nickname to  _semen_

 

 **semen** : i feel so attacked rn

 

 **twinkie** : welcome to hell

where were all sinners and petes satan

 

 **mom** : can confirm

 

 **sad boi hours** : damn sad

and hey im back

 

 **dadlon** : I apologize for not noticing your disappearance earlier.

 

 **sad boi hours** : nah its fine dw about it

i appreciate the concern

 

 **credit karma** : oh thank goodness youre ok

 

 **semen** : yeah same here even tho i was added after u disappeared

 

 **tumblr bitch** : even though u trucked me i still worry

 

 **thank u, next** : what happened ???

 

 **stumpy boy** : M I K E

 

 **dadlon** : Mike, seriously?

 

 **big thonking hours** : omg ur an asshole

 

 **tumblr bitch** : sdfsjdlsk

 

 **thank u, next** : whaaaaaat i need to know

sorry for being curious 😔

 

 **sad boi hours** : i dont want to talk about that shit

if u bring it up again i will hurt u

 

 **thank u, next** : nO P L E A S E

 

 **big thonking hours** : snOrt

he actually wheezed irl

**interesting** : r u guys hnging out?

 

 **big thonking hours** : yup at his house

me mike dallon and ryan

 

 **semen** : uh i need context

 

 **tumblr bitch** : so in the beginning satan created this group chat

and almost immediately right after he rekt mike

 

 **stumpy boy** : that's also the reason why he's in the chat in the first place

 

 **twinkie** : and nicole trucked joe and brendon so theres that

 

 **semen** : ohhhhh

 

 **mom** : this group chat has a (disturbing) backstory

 

 **dadlon** : ^^

 

 **sad boi hours** : wait seaman right

not ross?

 

 **big thonking hours** : yep seaman

wait why

 

 **stumpy boy** : sTOP ASKING

 

 **sad boi hours** : aw thanks stump ur so nice

fuck u brendon

 

 **big thonking hours** : oKay sorry sorry :(

_semen_ sent a picture

(Brendon is chasing Mike with a paintball gun.)

 

 **credit karma** : Y'ALL ARE WILD

 

 **tumblr bitch** : WOAH WTF IS THAT MY BOI JIMMY

 

 **thank u, next** : wtf jimmy ???

 

 **mom** : jimmys a paintball gun joe got from his dad for christmas

it was like about 2 years ago

 

 **tumblr bitch** : hIS BIRTHDAYS COMING UP SOON I ALMOST FORGOT

JIMMYS TURNING 3 SKJDKS

 

 **interesting** : y jimmy gotta b a boy

 

 **twinkie** : yeah why cant jimmy be whatever gender jimmy wants to be

holy shit i cant believe i just agreed with pete wentz

 

 **interesting** : :(

 

 **sad boi hours** : facts thooo

 

 **semen** : tru tru

 

 _interesting_ renamed  _m y t a c o s_ to  _stop assuming jimmy's gender_

 

 **credit karma** : pete finally has good grammar ???

aw man now i owe dallon 3 pennies

 

 **interesting** : r o o d

 

 **dadlon** : Give me my three pennies by tomorrow, Tyler.

:)

 

 **stumpy boy** : wait what ???

and no don't do that because that was me

 

 **mom** : that smile was dripping with murderous intent

 

 **credit karma** : ^^

 

 **tumblr bitch** : damn what are u two doing alone (  ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) (  ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **mom** : joe were literally with them

at your house

 

 **interesting** : wowie

 

 **tumblr bitch** : sHshhsShHh

 

 **twinkie** : tyler and i went taco bell without the rest of u ding dongs

 

 **dadlon** : Wow, rude.

 

 **semen** : even dallys hopping on the "r00d" bandwagon wow

 

 **dadlon** : Ryan, if you don't shut up, I will make you.

 

 **twinkie** : W O A H T H E R E

 

 **credit karma** : i'm not gonna wait for a murder to happen

i will not stand for this

 

 **semen** : *winks with both eyes* kinky

 

 _interesting_ changed  _twinkie_ 's nickname to  _ding dong_

 

 **ding dong** : sToP BULLYING

 

 **tumblr bitch** : thats tuff

 

 **mom** : ryan you do realize your names literally semen

 

 **semen** : buuuuuut muuuuuum

i got jimmy

 

 **tumblr bitch** : give him to me or p e r i s h

 

 **dadlon** : Stop assuming Jimmy's gender.

 

* * *

 

 **stumpy boy** : good morning everyone (◕◡◕✿)

 

 **interesting** : well good mrning 2 u 2

 

 **mom** : what a wholesome way to wake up

 

 **stumpy boy** : (￣∇￣)

 

 **sad boi hours** : good morning to u

btw im not coming to school today

 

 **credit karma** : what why ???

 

 **sad boi hours** : i dont want to

why the fuck else do u think im not going

 

 **semen** : aw come on nicole

im bringing jimmy

 

 **tumblr bitch** : excuse me WHAT

you better gimme jimmy

 

 **dadlon** : Wait, why?

 

 **thank u, next** : hehe gimme jimmy

 

 **ding dong** : DO IT

I MUST SEE JIMMY FOR MYSELF

 

 **mom** : no you dont

mike youre not funny

 

 **thank u, next** : :(

what why not

i mean jimmy gave me at least 3 bruises but still

 

 **big thonking hours** : lmao that was fun

 

 **semen** : u almost gave him a concussion

 

 **ding dong** : wOaH BrEnDoN sToOpInG dOwN tO pEtEs LeVeL

 

 **thank u, next** : disgusting smh

 

 **interesting** : r00d 😤😤

 

 **big thonking hours** : ^^

 

 **tumblr bitch** : DONT BLAME JIMMY WHEN IT WAS BRENDONS DUMB ASS

 

 **big thonking hours** : meanie

and why u so aggressive

 

 **stumpy boy** : joe's very protective of jimmy

 

 **tumblr bitch** : jimmy is my son

 

 **sad boi hours** : damn whos the mother

 

 **thank u, next** : ITS ANDY

 

 **tumblr bitch** : sknflsjldk

 

 **big thonking hours** : RIIIIIIIIIIP

 

 **credit karma** : :OOOOO

 

 **ding dong** : NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE

ANDY REALLY IS A MOM

 

 **mom** : bitch please

even if i was capable of being a mom i would 100% not be the mom of joes children

 

 **interesting** : thts tuff

 

 **sad boi hours** : fUck man that sucks

 

 **credit karma** : i'm so sorry for your loss

 

 **tumblr bitch** : u really hurt my feelings andy :(

 

 **mom** : does it look like i care

you know what

 

 **stumpy boy** : ???

 

 **mom** : ryan you better give me jimmy so i can shoot joe

 

 **credit karma** : NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE

I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY MURDERS

 

 **interesting** : oOO LEMME JOIN

 

 **stumpy boy** : P E T E

 

 **ding dong** : watch as u get suspended again lmao

 

 **tumblr bitch** : CHILL THE F U C K O U T

 

 **sad boi hours** : oh shit nvm i AM COMING TO SCHOOL

hurley wentz ill help u

 

 **mom** : sounds like a plan

 

 **interesting** : joes gonna die

 

 **ding dong** : he better watch out

 

 **tumblr bitch** : oh my god

 

* * *

 

 **tumblr bitch** : i fear andy pete and nicole are gonna jump me when im not looking

 

 **thank u, next** : what class are u even in rn

 

 **dadlon** : That sounds sketchy.

 

 **thank u, next** : stfu im just bored in york

 

 **big thonking hours** : damn that sucks

yorks pretty chill unless ur pete

 

 **tumblr bitch** : ughh im in computers

 

 **semen** : wow me too

look in the back

 

 **tumblr bitch** : holy shit

ryan im waving at u

 

 **ding dong** : wholesome

 

 **credit karma** : jishwa why can't you be like this

 

 **ding dong** : skskks sorry ty :(

 

 **tumblr bitch** : aWwWHhh

 

 **big thonking hours** : dallon why cant u be like this

 

 **dadlon** : Brendon.

Stop.

 

 **stumpy boy** : there are two kinds of people

 

 **semen** : rip brendon

 

 **tumblr bitch** : DVSGKJBKF

 

 **credit karma** : ???

 

 **semen** : holy shit i think they did it

 

 **dadlon** : I'm so confused.

 

 **interesting** : WE GOT HIM

 

 **ding dong** : explain ???

 

 _interesting_ sent a video

(Andy is holding Jimmy, and is shooting Joe with paintballs near the playground. Nicole is chasing him down and ends up tackling him. Pete cheers for Andy and Nicole behind the camera.)

 

 **stumpy boy** : OH MY G O D

 

 **ding dong** : joes actually dead

i s t h a t b l o o d

 

 **thank u, next** : HOLY SHIT JOES FUCKING DYING

 

 **dadlon** : That's assault-

Oh my god, is he dead?

 

 **big thonking hours** : sDKSJKD HES ACTUALLY DEAD

THATS FUCKING OVERKILL

 

 **credit karma** : i a m n o t r e s p o n s i b l e f o r t h i s

 

 **semen** : i can see it from crawfords class lmao

oh wow thats a lot of blood

 

 _semen_ sent a video

(Joe's bleeding a considerable amount of blood while Andy, Nicole, and Pete are dancing around him.)

 

 **stumpy boy** : oH GOD HE NEEDS TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL

 

 **big thonking hours** : WHATS GONNA HAPPEN WHEN WE COME OUT FOR RECESS

 

 **credit karma** : t h e y ' r e g o i n g t o j a i l

 

 **dadlon** : Wait...

 

 **ding dong** : if dallons worried we should be too

 

 **semen** : shit u right

 

 **stumpy boy** : wEll i mean our friend is LITERALLY D Y I N G

 

 **dadlon** : What if there's the case in which Andy, Nicole, and Pete actually DO go to jail?

What if they look into this group chat?

 

 **semen** : SHIT U RIGHT

 

 **big thonking hours** : oH H E L L N O

 

 **ding dong** : NO WE CANT LOSE THEM TO THE FEDS

 

 **credit karma** : i TOLD Y'ALL

 

 **thank u, next** : JESUS CHRIST ITS BARELY 3RD PERIOD

 

 **dadlon** : It's too early for this shit...

 

 **stumpy boy** : dallon's right guys

 

 **semen** : omg guys look

 

 _semen_ sent a video

(Andy and Pete are dragging Joe into the restroom while Nicole is standing outside, holding Jimmy.)

 

 **credit karma** : JIMMY IS GOING TO BE THE MURDER WEAPON

 

 **stumpy boy** : HOW HAS N O B O D Y SEEN THEM

 

 **mom** : alright children

the deed is done

 

 **big thonking hours** : h o w d o i e v e n r e s p o n d t o t h a t

 

 **ding dong** : ^^

 

 **semen** : wheres nicole?

 

 **mom** : shes watching out for any dumbasses trying to get in here

 

 **ding dong** : i cant believe u guys actually did THAT

 

 **credit karma** : no please i don't want to hAVE A CRIMINAL RECORD

 

 **thank u, next** : ARE U GUYS FUCKING INSANE

 

 **interesting** : shhh mike

tlk nd ur nxt

 

 **dadlon** : Andy, Pete, and Nicole as well...

We need to have a serious chat.

 

 **big thonking hours** : THAT is a fucking threat i am NOT waiting to see

 

 **semen** : this is actually hell

 

 **thank u, next** : O K A Y J E S U S

 

 **dadlon** : What I said still goes.

 

 **stumpy boy** : P E T E R

 

 **interesting** : yes tricky?

 

 **dadlon** : How are you guys so calm??

 

 **stumpy boy** : READ THE TEXTS UP AHEAD

 

 **interesting** : damn hes rite

andy u got him rite?

 

 **dadlon** : Yes, I know I'm right.

 

 **credit karma** : you guys are WAAAY too calm for this

 

 **mom** : yup do what you gotta do

watch and learn tyler :)

 

 _interesting_ removed  _stumpy boy_ from  _stop assuming jimmy's gender_

 

 **mom** : ah good times

 

 **interesting** : ill mss it

jimmys sch a wrrior

 

 **thank u, next** : HURRY THE FUCK UP AND REMOVE US BEFORE THE FEDS GET US

 

 _interesting_ removed  _tumblr bitch_ from  _stop assuming jimmy's gender_

 

 **mom** : a reminder to never fuck with us

 

 **big thonking hours** : i dont think u have to worry about that hOLY SHIT

 

 **credit karma** : NOTED

 

 **ding dong** : dw iM TERRIFIED NOW THANKS

 

 **dadlon** : I would really appreciate it if you guys hurried this along.

I personally don't want to have a criminal record.

 

 **interesting** : ok ok

_interesting_ removed  _big thonking hours_ from  _stop assuming jimmy's gender_

 _interesting_ removed  _thank u, next_ from  _stop assuming jimmy's gender_

 _interesting_ removed  _dadlon_ from  _stop assuming jimmy's gender_

 _interesting_ removed  _credit karma_ from  _stop assuming jimmy's gender_

 _interesting_ removed  _ding dong_ from  _stop assuming jimmy's gender_

 _interesting_ removed  _sad boi hours_ from  _stop assuming jimmy's gender_

 

 **mom** : ryan

 

 **semen** : uh yeah?

 

 **mom** : delete that shit off your phone

now

 

 **semen** : aye aye captain

 

 _interesting_ removed  _semen_ from  _stop assuming jimmy's gender_

 

 **mom** : alright

this is it

 

 **interesting** : its fiiiiine

ill mke a nw 1

 

 **mom** : you sure?

 

 **interesting** : yup

 

 **mom** : okay do it then

 

 _interesting_ removed  _mom_ from  _stop assuming jimmy's gender_

 

 **interesting** : wlp

whle no 1s hr ,,,

fuck u gvrnmnt u cnt stp me

nly 3 crtn ppl cn u shthds

 

 _interesting_ has left the chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so uhhh that was an experience  
> kudos & comments are appreciated! <3


	8. back to square one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh i'm so sorry y'all i can't motivate myself enough to update this ( ╥﹏╥ )

_Pete Wentz_ added  _Patrick Stump, Andy Hurley, Joe Trohman, Brendon Urie, Mike Naran, Dallon Weekes, Ryan Seaman, Nicole Row, Tyler Joseph,_  and  _Josh Dun_ to a group chat

 

 _Pete Wentz_ renamed the group chat  _all hail jimmy_

 

 **Pete Wentz** : thts bttr

 

 **Mike Naran** : are u fUCKING SERIOUS

 

 **Ryan Seaman** : *inhales* 🅱️oi

 

 **Tyler Joseph** : that was spooky™️

 

 **Brendon Urie** : HOLD

THE

FUCK

UP

WHAT THE HELL WAS T H A T

 

 **Patrick Stump** : where did you even put joe ???

he's actually gonna DIE

 

 **Andy Hurley** : no need to worry

we made him go to the nurse

 

 **Josh Dun** : isnt williams gonna ask him how he got THAT FUCKED UP

 

 **Nicole Row** : we made him say that he fell when he tripped down the stairs

 

 **Dallon Weekes** : Wouldn't she ask about the paint and bullet wounds?

 

 **Tyler Joseph** : also tHE EXCESSIVE AMOUNT OF B L O O D

 

 **Andy Hurley** : do you think were that careless

 

 **Pete Wentz** : were nt joe

we clnd hm up

 

 **Patrick Stump** : that still doesn't explain the bullet wounds

 

 **Andy Hurley** : shhhh its fine she wont look into it that much

 

 **Tyler Joseph** : that was so traumatizing

 

 **Ryan Seaman** : honestly

it was fun at first but then dal brought up that the feds could track us

 

 **Nicole Row** : dw were good now

i have jimmy

 

 **Patrick Stump** : honestly can i even trust anyone anymore

especially you pete

 

 **Pete Wentz** : what do you mean tricky??

 

 **Ryan Seaman** : ok i know nows not the time to say this

but pete has decent grammar for once ???

 

 **Brendon Urie** : wait-

thats facts tho

 

 **Dallon Weekes** : I'd like my three pennies, Tyler.

 

 **Tyler Joseph** : aww man

 

 **Josh Dun** : is this really the time ???

 

 _Nicole Row_ changed  _Patrick Stump_ 's nickname to  _tricky_

 

 **Nicole Row** : i can finally change other peoples names yay

 

 **tricky** : i-

anyway petey you know EXACTLY what i mean

you have a problem and i'm not the only one that thinks that

same with andy and nicole

 

 **Ryan Seaman** : 🐸🍵

 

 **Pete Wentz** : he got what he deserved

havent you heard trick

"you mess with the bull you get the horns"

 

 **Brendon Urie** : ok seriously pete is bringing out decent grammar now

i must be dreaming

 

 **Tyler Joseph** : 👀👀👀

 

 **Dallon Weekes** : I wish I was.

 

 _Nicole Row_ changed  _Pete Wentz_ 's nickname to  _petey_

 

 **petey** : 🅱️oi

 

 **Nicole Row** : sorry im trying to my privileges i didnt have before

 

 **tricky** : ok fine we'll talk about this another time

 

 **petey** : :(

 

 **Josh Dun** : thats how u know he done fucked up

 

 _Nicole Row_ changed  _Josh Dun_ 's nickname to  _he dun fucked up_

 

 **he dun fucked up** : NICOLE U ASSHAT

 

 **Nicole Row** : hehe

 

 _Tyler Joseph_ changed  _Nicole Row_ 's nickname to  _row row row your boat_

 

 **row row row your boat** : really ??

 

 **Tyler Joseph** : credit karma is back

 

 **Brendon Urie** : haha that was good

 

 **Dallon Weekes** : Alright, children, shut up.

 

 **he dun fucked up** : didnt ur parents teach u any manners smh

 

 **Mike Naran** : r00d

 

 **tricky** : shhh dallons trying to tell us something

 

 **Mike Naran** : :(

 

 **Dallon Weekes** : We have three main situations on our hands.

1) We still haven't heard back from Joe and it's been at least 20 minutes.

2) Andy, Nicole, and Pete really need to make it up to Joe.

3) We should watch out for anyone trying to rat us out.

 

 **petey** : ughhh

i wll admt dallons rite

 

 **Andy Hurley** : yeahhhh about that

i still firmly believe that bitches do in fact get stitches

but i just feel bad now

 

 **row row row your boat** : yep same

 

 **Joe Trohman** : i-

 

 **Ryan Seaman** : speak of the devil

 

 **Tyler Joseph** : yoikes

 

 _he dun fucked up_ changed  _Tyler Joseph_ 's nickname to  _yoikes_

 

 **yoikes** : there he is

 

 **Andy Hurley** : oh heeeeeeey joe

 

 **Joe Trohman** : ok first of all

the fuck happened to my nickname

 

 **Mike Naran** : sooo while u were getting basically assaulted

dallon told us that if andy pete and nicole do get caught the feds might look into our phones and shit

 

 **yoikes** : yeahhh so pete removed us all from that chat and made a new one

 

 **he dun fucked up** : im so sorry for ur loss

 

 **Joe Trohman** : oh ,,, okay

second of all: why the fUCK DID U DO THAT ANDY PETE NICOLE

AND WHERE IS JIMMY

 

 **row row row your boat** : ok ok sorry about that trohman

seriously i regret it now

and i have jimmy

 

 **Brendon Urie** : ok now wheres pete

 

 **tricky** : pete you're also to blame for this

 

 **petey** : ugh fine

srry joe

 

 **Joe Trohman** : that apology sounds sarcastic and im not satisfied yet

 

 **petey** : wtf

 

 **Joe Trohman** : I PROPOSE WE HAVE AN APOLOGY PARTY

 

 **row row row your boat** : wHat

what the fUCK

 

 **Mike Naran** : oOoooh yesss and we can have it at my house

my parents are chill with it

 

 **Brendon Urie** : fucking genius

 

 **Andy Hurley** : ok but that kinda sounds depressing

 

 **Dallon Weekes** : No.

That's an absolutely horrible idea.

 

 **he dun fucked up** : boo u party pooper

 

 _yoikes_ changed  _Dallon Weekes_ 's nickname to  _party pooper_

 

 **party pooper** : Gee, thanks.

 

 **Ryan Seaman** : come on dally itll be a great idea

 

 **tricky** : i'm worried i don't think i want to go

 

 **petey** : no trcky we shld go

ill brng hot pckts

 

 **row row row your boat** : u know what

im bringing some oreos

 

 **yoikes** : gAsp

JISH WE SHOULD BRING TACO BELL

 

 **Brendon Urie** : yES U SHOULD

 

 **he dun fucked up** : ooooh okay

 

 **Mike Naran** : i think i have microwavable popcorn

 

 **Joe Trohman** : ooOOOO I HAVE CHEERIOS

 

 **Andy Hurley** : joe why

you know what fuck it

im gonna go too

 

 **Mike Naran** : all must offer a peace offering

 

 **Ryan Seaman** : i will offer kraft mac and cheese

 

 **row row row your boat** : as one does

 

 **Mike Naran** : okay so we got hot pockets oreos taco bell cheerios and macaroni and cheese

BRENDON WHAT ARE U BRINGING

 

 **Brendon Urie** : oooo lemme bring mcchicken nuggets

 

 **petey** : ths is gr8

 

 **Joe Trohman** : alright bois party starts tonight

 

 **row row row your boat** : this is gonna be legendary

 

 **party pooper** : I'm very worried.

 

 **Ryan Seaman** : agreed

 

 **Mike Naran** : dont forget to bring ur offerings

 

 **he dun fucked up** : i cant wait

 

 **tricky** : oh no

 

 **party pooper** : Am I going to regret this?

 

 **Andy Hurley** : yes

 

* * *

 

 **Joe Trohman** : nicoleeeeee

 

 **row row row your boat** : yeah what do u want crackhead

 

 _Mike Naran_ changed  _Joe Trohman_ 's nickname to  _crackhead_

 

 **crackhead** : u bully

 

 **Mike Naran** : just wait until after school ;)

 

 **crackhead** : is that a threat or an offer for a blowjob

 

* * *

 

 **Mike Naran** : alright alright alright

 

 **row row row your boat** : a r e u r e a d y

 

 **yoikes** : yesssss me and josh are getting some taco bell right now

 

 **petey** : trcky did u gt th pepprni pzza ht pckts

 

 **tricky** : uhhh yeah i got two boxes

 

 **Ryan Seaman** : wait u only got pepperoni pizza hot pockets

 

 **petey** : im brnging th brkfst 1s :))

 

 **crackhead** : ooooo

 

 **party pooper** : Ryan, did you get the microwavable ones?

 

 **Ryan Seaman** : ye

 

 **Mike Naran** : im getting out the popcorn

 

 **he dun fucked up** : :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

 

* * *

 

 **party pooper** : Which one of you is kicking my leg?

 

 **Brendon Urie** : OWWWW WHO STEPPED ON MY STOMACH

 

 **Ryan Seaman** : brendon moooove ur on my leg now

 

 **Mike Naran** : who suggested that sleeping on the kitchen floor was a good idea

 

 **tricky** : it was your idea mike

 

 **Mike Naran** : shit u right

 

 **he dun fucked up** : wait but why is ryan right next to dallon lmaoo

 

 _he dun fucked up_  sent a photo

 

 **row row row your boat** : wow thats lowkey cute

 

 **Brendon Urie** : aww thats wholesome

 

 **party pooper** : Ew.

 

 **Andy Hurley** : oh no

i think joe saw

sorry dallon bUt you know what happens next

 

 **Mike Naran** : YALL WHAT WAS THAT PTERODACTYL SCREECH

 

 **he dun fucked up** : wow nice grammar

 

 **Mike Naran** : >:(

 

 **party pooper** : Oh boy.

I'm going back to sleep.

 

 **Andy Hurley** : OH SHIT I THINK JOES HAVING A HEART ATTACK

 

 _Andy Hurley_ sent a photo

 

 **petey** : he cri

 

 **Andy Hurley** : hes actually praying

 

 **Mike Naran** : yall need to stfu

mY PARENTS ROOM IS TWO ROOMS AWAY

 

 **he dun fucked up** : boi it doesnt even matter

they dont give a shit about what we do

 

 **party pooper** : Like when Pete almost burned up the microwave.

 

 **petey** : DALLON KDJFLS

oK i didnt no tht wuld hppn :,)

 

 **tricky** : petey you're an idiot

 

 **Brendon Urie** : couple goals 😩😩

 

 **petey** : ctch me otsde ur wndw

 

 **row row row your boat** : theyre too chill

like i think we could burn down the house and they would be like "oh darn we all make mistakes"

 

 **crackhead** : facts

 

 **Ryan Seaman** : u still gotta repsecc napp tho jpshg

 

 **Brendon Urie** : wtf does that mean

 

 **crackhead** : MY DRUNK BUDDY

 

 **Andy Hurley** : ew

 

 **Mike Naran** : tag urself im jpshg

 

 _Andy Hurley_  changed  _Ryan Seaman_ 's nickname to  _repsecc napp_

_Andy Hurley_ changed  _Mike Naran_ 's nickname to  _jpshg_

 

 **repsecc napp** : srrrrrry i think i snitref too miny cheerioss

 

 **jpshg** : i have cheerios in my hair smj

 

 **petey** : tf whts smj

 

 **Brendon Urie** : shake my jongles

 

 _petey_ changed  _Brendon Urie_ 's nickname to  _shake my jongles_

 

 **jpshg** : patrick dallon and tyler are dead

 

 **petey** : trickys sleepng on a chr

 

 **he dun fucked up** : tylers in the kitchen sink

 

 **repsecc napp** : ohhh i seees him

i ciyhged up a cherrio

 

 **petey** : ew

also y in a ktchn snk

 

 **he dun fucked up** : idk he told me to go away and leave him alone before he fell asleep

 

 **shake my jongles** : thats tuff

OH SHIT

 **repsecc napp** : oh my g od

 

 **party pooper** : Just woke up.

What the hell was that noise?

 

 **crackhead** : were gonna d i e

 

 **yoikes** : what wAS THAT

 

 **row row row your boat** : omg

ITS THE FEDS

THEYRE AFTER US

 

 **Andy Hurley** : no wAY

 

 **tricky** : pete wHAT WAS THAT NOISE OUTSIDE

 

 **party pooper** : Just go open and look outside the door.

 

 **yoikes** : no way we're all pussies

 

 **shake my jongles** : tru tru

 

 **party pooper** : Ugh, fine.

But can one of you at least come with, just in case it's a burglar?

 

 **jpshg** : oooo lemme go

i owe my parents for cursing them with u guys

 

 **row row row your boat** : hEre take jimmy

 

 **Andy Hurley** : oh no

 

 **crackhead** : wHAT NO MY BOYYYY

 

 **he dun fucked up** : kill that fucker

 

 **petey** : all hail jimmy

 

 **tricky** : omg dallon's opening the door

 

 **repsecc napp** : go dally and mike

also i got the cheerio out of my nose

 

 **shake my jongles** : hsDJKFSKJdsjfs MIKE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

THATS ONE OF THE FUCKING NEIGHBORS

EW RYAN

 

 **crackhead** : THIS WOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED IF U JUST GAVE ME MY SON

 

 **row row row your boat** : TROHMAN WHAT DID U DO

 

 **crackhead** : bitch the fUCK U MEAN WHAT DID I DO

 

 **yoikes** : this is WIIIIILD

 

 **party pooper** : MIKE.

 

 **tricky** : wHAT THE-

I DON'T WANT TO GO TO JAIL

 

 **he dun fucked up** : mike ur a criminal

 

 _row row row your boat_ renamed  _all hail jimmy_ to  _mike ur a criminal_

 

 **row row row your boat** : no but seriously u might get sued for assault

cOugH wentz cOUgh

 

 **petey** : asshole

fr tho mike ur a goner

 

 **jpshg** : fUCK UHHHHH WHAT DO WE DO WITH THE BODY

 

 **repsecc napp** : mike i-

 

 **Andy Hurley** : jesus christ tHEYRE NOT DEAD

just lay them down on the couch or some shit

 

 **tricky** : okay okay don't drop them

MIKE I SAID DON'T DROP THEM

 

 **jpshg** : S O R R Y

 

 **Andy Hurley** : ill heal him up

 

 **row row row your boat** : hurleys an actual mom omg

 

 **yoikes** : andys my favorite mom

 

 **party pooper** : What about your actual mom?

 

 _yoikes_ changed  _Andy Hurley_ 's nickname to  _mommy_

 

 

 **crackhead** : andys still our mom how depressing

 

 **yoikes** : oh wait

 

 **shake my jongles** : woah woah woah i didnt know ty had a mommy kink

 

 **he dun fucked up** : can confirm

 

 **yoikes** : JOSHDJHFLSKJHfljdho

 

 **row row row your boat** : oOooooOOOOOh

 

 **tricky** : TMI ┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘

 

 **repsecc napp** : rest in peace

 

 **crackhead** : hOooLd oOoon

 

 **jpshg** : WOAH THERE BUDDY

 

 **shake my jongles** : skJDSKLJLKS

 

 **petey** : Σ(ﾟДﾟ)

 

 **party pooper** : I hate all of you.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh sorry this is very shitty and very late  
> do you guys like the additional drawings for whenever someone sends a picture? i drew them myself :))  
> kudos & comments are appreciated! <3


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